What happens when a controlled fire goes out of control?

Someone gets fired.

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What happens when Hillary throws relevant questions?

Donald Ducks

What happened!?

The American responds, "Ei ffel".

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What do you call sandpaper on fire?

Bernie Sanders

How do you teach your dog to roll over?

Put him on fire.

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Why are all these Juice fad diets so popular?

Because Juice control the media

What do capitalists and conspiracy theorists have in common?

They are both controlled by little green men.