Control Jokes

Student: Why do we need to go to college? Teacher: So we can get a high paying job Student: Why do we need a high paying job Teacher: So we can get lots of money Student: Why do we need lots of money Teacher: So we can pay off our college loans

Why were you late?

Pupil: Sorry teacher I overslept. Teacher: It's three in the afternoon!

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What did the match box say to the match?

You're fired!

Why did the worker at the M&ampM factory get fired?

He threw out the W's

Push Jokes More Push Jokes

What'll ya have?

Cat: Shot of rum. Bartender pours it Cat slowly pushes it off the bar Cat: Another.

What was the internet like in the old days?

Me: *opens door* *pushes 16 outside* *locks door*

Pupil Jokes More Pupil Jokes

Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer?

Pupil: You told me to put it in the Net.

What is Ba + Na2?

Pupil: Banana.

Engineer Jokes More Engineer Jokes

How do you know an engineer is an extrovert?

He stares at shoes while he talks to you.

Why are dogs and engineers alike?

They both have intelligent eyes, but neither can talk properly.

Control Jokes

What do capitalists and conspiracy theorists have in common?

Your Age Is Only Math

Why was the teacher cross-eyed?

What muscle do Egyptian soldiers generally lose control of, shortly before major battles?

How many controlled oposition does it take to change a light bulb?

Why are all these Juice fad diets so popular?

Why is I such a controlling letter?

What do you tell a conductor when they lose control of their orchestra?

What do you call the secret Eskimo organization that controls the world?

Why did the printer have wet ink?

Why were the teachers eyes so crossed?

Why did Snoop Dogg lose control of his Pontiac?

I Love Pizza & You

What's the difference between Ellen Pao and Kim Jong Un?

What happens when a controlled fire goes out of control?

Why can't penguins fly?

When I get mad at you, you never fight back.How do you control your anger?

What would you call a supervillain that could control every part of the electro-magnetic spectrum except 495-570 nm?

How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?

How much for this remote controlled alien?

What's the difference between In-n-Out Burger French fries and League of Legends?

What do you call an unpredictable, out-of-control photographer?

Why did the T.V. break up with the remote?

Love Card

What did the Marvel character say when he attained full control of his Android's CPU and Kernel?

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Why were ancient Egyptian children confused?

Why do we need to go to college?