Birth Control Jokes

What do engineers use for birth control?

Their personality.

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What does an IT guy use for birth control?

His personality.

What does an engineer use for birth control?

Their personality.

What is your preferred type of birth control?

Well, its not preferred, but I practice abstinence.

What did the banker use for birth control?

His personality

What is the most effective form of birth control?

Abortions.

What's the cheapest form of birth control?

Casey Anthony

What does an accountant use for birth control?

His personality.

What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?

A trip without kids.

What do accountants use for birth-control?

A. Their personalities.

What do you call people who use the pull out method as form of birth control?

Parents.

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What does an IT guys use for birth control?

His personality.

What does a violin player use as birth control?

Their personality

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Parent Jokes More Parent Jokes

What kind of parents are see-through?

Transparence!

What's the similarity between a burned pizza and parents?

If it's black it won't give you any food

Practice Jokes More Practice Jokes

Why should all teenagers get a case for their cell phones?

Because they should use protection to practice safe text

What move does the karate kid practice the most?

He wax off everyday

Accountant Jokes More Accountant Jokes

Why was the accountant constipated?

He couldn't budget.

What does an accountant say when you ask him the time?

It's 9.18 am and 12 seconds no wait - 13 seconds no wait - 14 seconds no wait......

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

What is the meanest practical joke one can pull on a blind person?

Leaving a plunger in the toilet.

What did the couch say to the armchair?

Don't worry, I pull out.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Why did the kid cross the road?

To go to a better place.

What's a mortician's least favorite day on the job?

Bring Your Kid to Work Day

Pharmacy Jokes More Pharmacy Jokes

How can you tell a blonde is being unfaithful?

Everybody in the neighborhood is going to the pharmacy for penicillin.

What do you call that part of the pharmacy where they keep the condoms, birth-control pills, etc.?

The Contrasection.

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

How can people get engaged after dating less than a year?

You haven't seen their fall wardrobe yet and tbh it could be a deal breaker

Why did the punctuation mark have such an easy time going out with other punctuation marks?

It was a comma dating.

Good Jokes More Good Jokes

What was the best part about Narcos Season 2?

SPOILERS Tata, Pablo Escobar

Why is toilet paper no good for wrapping presents?

Cos it's tear-able.