Acid Jokes

Why did the acid perform poorly?

Because it didn't concentrate.

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Why don't you see many chemists with master's degrees working with acids and bases?

To really understand acids and bases, you need a pHd.

What happens when you take acid with a birth control pill?

A trip without the kids

What do you study to learn about acid?

A pHD

Why was the chemist not able to get very far in his study of acids?

He was only willing to consider the most basic of solutions.

Why can't acids argue well?

All their statements are baseless.

What does a chemist say when he's pouring water into an acid?

Drop the base.

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Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

What do you call it when you drop an apple on the ground?

A fruit by the foot

What is the difference between a baby and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would NEVER drop a bag of cocaine.

Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What did one kid at the playground say to the other kid?

Hello from the other slIIIIiiiIIIIide

What do mother's who boycott pharmacy drugs and kids who stop playing valve's fps' have in common?

They are both over the counter strike

Vision Jokes More Vision Jokes

Why is the all-seeing eye the symbol of the occult?

Because they want us all under super-vision!

What did the horse say when he regained his vision?

Merci.

Vatican Jokes More Vatican Jokes

What's the difference between a proclamation from the Vatican and a mail-order husband from ebay?

One's a papal mandate and the other's a paypal man-date.

What do they use to pay for things in the Vatican?

Paypal

Lemonade Jokes More Lemonade Jokes

What does Batman like in his lemonade?

Just ice.

Why do orthodox rabbis like lemonade so much?

Because, it's acidic juice.

Tum Jokes More Tum Jokes

How do you know when you're turning 40?

When your candy jar is filled with Tums..... My wife just came up with that one... Birthday is next week.. Ugh

What do you call Tums in suppository form?

Bums

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What do you need to have to do the dishes when you don't want to?

Dishcipline This is literally a joke I told in a dream and I remembered it when waking up.

Why was the tired criminal delighted when he was caught by the police?

Because he needed *arrest*!!!

Li Ion Jokes More Li Ion Jokes

Why can't you trust a Lithium Ion battery?

Because they're always Li-ion!

Why did the lead acid battery have to tell the truth?

Because if it didn't it would be Li-ion.