Acid Jokes

Why did the acid perform poorly?

Because it didn't concentrate.

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What do you call three brothers taking acid together?

Triplets

What happened to the hippy chemistry teacher when he spilled his chemicals?

He tripped on acid

Why don't you see many chemists with master's degrees working with acids and bases?

To really understand acids and bases, you need a pHd.

Why do people on acid listen to Dubstep?

Because if they didn't drop the base it would be a neutral reaction and they wouldn't feel the psychedelic effects.

Why do people take acid at raves?

Because there's so much base.

What do you get when you cross a hit of acid with a birth control pill?

A trip without the kids.

What happens when you take acid with a birth control pill?

A trip without the kids

What do you study to learn about acid?

A pHD

What career choice to hippies usually pick?

Chemistry, because there is lots of acid involved.

Whats another term for acid?

Its on the tip of my tongue...

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Why was the chemist not able to get very far in his study of acids?

He was only willing to consider the most basic of solutions.

What do you say to a burn victim if you pour acid on them?

Woops, tee hee.

Who's there! Acid! Acid who?

Acidently on purpose!

What does a chemistry lesson and a night club have in common?

Someone drops the acid and someone drops the base.

Why can't acids argue well?

All their statements are baseless.

What does a chemist say when he's pouring water into an acid?

Drop the base.

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Why is grandpa fine with performing tricks, but gets mad if you ask grandma?

It took him forever to get her off that street corner.

How many IBM CPUs does it take to perform a logical right shift?

32. One to hold the bits and 31 to push the register.

Vision Jokes More Vision Jokes

Why is Daredevil not a part of the Avengers?

Because he doesn't work with Vision

What do you call an acid trip so hard that it gives you visions of the future?

Psychic-delic.

Chemist Jokes More Chemist Jokes

Why do Chemists have so much debt?

Because they have so much Antimony!

How do you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

One of them makes crack while the other just markets it.

Purpose Jokes More Purpose Jokes

What's the purpose of Barry Chuckle's job at British Gas?

To meter you.

What do you tell someone who feels that life has shorted them from a purpose or calling?

You belong.

Future Jokes More Future Jokes

What do you call a black rapper with no future?

Future

Why doesn't ISIS appear in any Sci-Fi shows or movies?

Because they are set in the future.

Acidic Juice Jokes More Acidic Juice Jokes

What do you call an unsweetened, kosher lemonade?

Acidic juice

How are synagogues like lemons?

They're full of acidic juice.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross Paris Hilton with Iggy Azalea?

A horribly depraved piece of human garbage.

Why did I cross the road?

Because your mom was on the other side..

Phd Jokes More Phd Jokes

What is the difference between a PhD in mathematics and a large pizza?

The pizza can feed a family of four

What does the Chinese government call an American with a PhD in physics, math and chemistry?

STUPID AMERICAN!