Truth Jokes

What 3 things that tell the truth?

Drunk men. Little children. Yoga pants.

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Why did the lead acid battery have to tell the truth?

Because if it didn't it would be Li-ion.

What does the Fox say?

The truth is out there.

What else did Lochte say after the truth came out?

This did not go swimmingly at all

What did I tell you about telling the truth?

5-year-old: It's only for people who don't have lawyers.

When do you know a lawyer is telling the truth?

When his lips are shut.

What game do you play if you don't take care of your teeth?

Tooth (truth) or Consequences.

How many conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

We may never know the truth.

Why aren't there any "old husband tales"?

There are. They just get re-branded as "logic" and "the truth".

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Cinderella Jokes More Cinderella Jokes

Why was Cinderella kicked off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball

Why was Cinderella bad at basketball?

Because her coach was always a pumpkin.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

Why did the burger sit beside the telephone?

Incase onion rings

What sits in the kitchen and gets smaller and smaller?

A baby combing its hair with an apple peeler

Stephen King Jokes More Stephen King Jokes

What is a geeks favorite horror novel?

Information Technology by Stephen King

What did Kenny G say when he got off the elevator?

From Stephen King - The Cell)

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How Many Friend Zoned Men Does It Take To Screw In A Lightbulb?

None, they just all stand around complaining that it won't screw!

How many monkeys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Monkeys screw in trees.

Rage Jokes More Rage Jokes

What is it called when a bunch of people, all under 5'2", go to a raging party?

High wasted shorts!

What's that over there?

I don't know but I just got a raging clue

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many Mexicans are needed to change a light bulb?

Juan.

How many Roman pirates does it take to change a light bulb?

I I

Paper Jokes More Paper Jokes

What's the similarity between communism and a pencil?

They both only really work on paper

What do you call a belt made of paper?

A waist of paper.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell someone is vegan?

Don't worry, they'll tell you

How can you tell Sofia Vergara's children on the playground?

They're the ones with stretch marks on their lips.