Truth Jokes

Why did the lead acid battery have to tell the truth?

Because if it didn't it would be Li-ion.

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What does the Fox say?

The truth is out there.

What else did Lochte say after the truth came out?

This did not go swimmingly at all

What did I tell you about telling the truth?

5-year-old: It's only for people who don't have lawyers.

When do you know a lawyer is telling the truth?

When his lips are shut.

What game do you play if you don't take care of your teeth?

Tooth (truth) or Consequences.

How many conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

We may never know the truth.

Why aren't there any "old husband tales"?

There are. They just get re-branded as "logic" and "the truth".

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Shut Jokes More Shut Jokes

When do you know a lawyer is telling the truth?

When his lips are shut.

How did Columbus's men sleep on their ships?

With their eyes shut!

Drunk Man Jokes More Drunk Man Jokes

Why could the drunk man only move left?

The officer hadn't read him his rights.

What did the pig say to the drunk man?

Licence and registration please.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

What do you call a lawyer from krypton?

Sue-per Man

What do lawyers do after they die?

They lie still.

Pinocchio Jokes More Pinocchio Jokes

Why did all the other toys throw RaggedyAnn out of the toy box?

She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me, lie to me!"

What did Pinocchio say to Rudolph when he asked him what he asked for Christmas?

Quit being nosey.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between frat guys and dogs?

A dog has a better understanding of no.

Whats the difference between a hippie and a trampoline?

You take your boots off before you jump on a trampoline.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What happens when doughnuts join a sorority?

They have to go through the glazing. I'm sorry I'm a baker it just came to me... Pun-ishment is in order.

What did the Invisible Man's mom say after he came out as invisible?

I can't even look at you anymore!

Fax Jokes More Fax Jokes

How can you tell when a fax has been sent by a blonde?

When there's a stamp on it.

What do you call a truthful piece of paper?

Fax.

Fox Jokes More Fox Jokes

What can turn a fox into an elephant?

A marriage certificate.

How does one turn a fox into a pig?

Marry her.