Truth Jokes

What 3 things that tell the truth?

Drunk men. Little children. Yoga pants.

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Why did the lead acid battery have to tell the truth?

Because if it didn't it would be Li-ion.

What does the Fox say?

The truth is out there.

What game is all the rage with the Ferguson rioters?

Truth or Darren Wilson.

What else did Lochte say after the truth came out?

This did not go swimmingly at all

What did I tell you about telling the truth?

5-year-old: It's only for people who don't have lawyers.

When do you know a lawyer is telling the truth?

When his lips are shut.

What game do you play if you don't take care of your teeth?

Tooth (truth) or Consequences.

What did Cinderella say when she sat on Pinocchio's face?

Tell me a lie. Tell me the truth. Tell me a lie. Tell me the truth. Tell me a lie...

How many conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

We may never know the truth.

Why aren't there any "old husband tales"?

There are. They just get re-branded as "logic" and "the truth".

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Sugar is on the lips.

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One was shot for playing with little children.

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Drunk men. Little children. Yoga pants.

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A tourist.

What has dual airbags and has lots of room?

The White House.

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What brand of shoes does a paranoid person wear?

Sketchers

Whats your favourite brand of beer?

When i was younger, i used to drink any brand of beer, but now i am older Budweiser

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What do books have that Mexicans don't?

Papers.

What's your opener?

JESUS: "God loves you." You BUDDHA (crumpling paper that says Life Is Suffering): Me too

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What's your favorite word?

5-Year-Old: Empathy! I don't even know what it means! Me- I know how you feel.

What do you call a 5 year old kid with no friends?

A Sandy Hook survivor All they wanted was books but instead they got magazines

Tooth Jokes More Tooth Jokes

Why do SJWs hate dentists?

Because they want to make teeth straight and white.

What has over a hundred teeth and keeps back Godzilla?

My zipper!

Pinocchio Jokes More Pinocchio Jokes

What do Justin Bieber and Pinocchio have in common?

Both want to be real boys

Why didn't Pinocchio make it thru puberty?

He caught on fire.