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When do you know a lawyer is telling the truth?

When his lips are shut.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What did one mandarin say to the other mandarin?

I don't know, I don't speak Mandarin.

How do you know if a black person used your TV?

It's not there anymore.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell when a wine connoisseur is happy?

They have a semillon!

Why couldn't the Pokemon tell a joke?

Because he fainted.

Shut Jokes More Shut Jokes

What's the Difference between a Wife and an Attic Door?

An attic door can shut up. im going to hell

What did the cat say when I shut him in the refridgerator?

I don't know, I couldn't hear him through the door.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

Why did the lawyer go to the tailor?

He wanted a law-suit

What do you call a lawyer up to his neck in cement?

Not enough cement EDIT: Okay thanks for pointing out that I messed up the wording but the joke is supposed to be the funny part

Lip Jokes More Lip Jokes

Why do they call it "Lipstick?

When a woman can easily move her lips after she applies it

How do skeletons kiss?

They don't. Skeletons don't have lips, they just bone.

Truth Jokes More Truth Jokes

How many conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

We may never know the truth.

What game is all the rage with the Ferguson rioters?

Truth or Darren Wilson.