When do you know a lawyer is telling the truth?

When his lips are shut.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Who threw that?

Gary, was that you Don't act innocent, I know you download music illegally.

What is the difference between a dog and a viola?

The dog knows when to stop scratching.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you give a solipsist an existential crisis?

You tell me.

How can you tell when the Chief Accountant is getting soft?

When he actually listens to Marketing before saying No

Shut Jokes More Shut Jokes

Which part of your body shuts down last when you die?

The eyes, cause they di-late.

What did the cat say when I shut him in the refridgerator?

I don't know, I couldn't hear him through the door.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

What do you call the amount of time it takes to win an argument with a lawyer?

An attornity.

How do two lawyers greet each other?

With a firm handshake.

Lip Jokes More Lip Jokes

Where are you only allowed to swim if you have red hair, a lip piercing, three brothers, a missing finger, are slightly overweight and have a birthday in December?

The specific ocean.

How do skeletons kiss?

They don't. Skeletons don't have lips, they just bone.

Truth Jokes More Truth Jokes

What else did Lochte say after the truth came out?

This did not go swimmingly at all

What game do you play if you don't take care of your teeth?

Tooth (truth) or Consequences.