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When do you know a lawyer is telling the truth?

When his lips are shut.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How many Apple employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know, because they charge you $500 for the iLightbulb.

What's a nanny's favorite letter?

I don't know, but it's not E.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell the time in Antarctica?

I don't know,Alaska guy and tell you

Why don't we tell the people that every snowflake is unique?

It's not like they'll ever really check "Let's do it"

Shut Jokes More Shut Jokes

What does it mean when a lion roars?

Shut up. The movie is about to start.

What do you call a seagull that lives by the Bay?

I don't know, but it won't shut up about the app it's developing.

Lawyer Jokes More Lawyer Jokes

What did I tell you about telling the truth?

5-year-old: It's only for people who don't have lawyers.

What's one profession that doctors, lawyers, even the king of Saudi Arabia and the presidents of the USSR and US bow their heads to?

Barbers.

Lip Jokes More Lip Jokes

How many lips does a flower have?

Tulips

How can you tell that a politician lies?

His lips are moving

Truth Jokes More Truth Jokes

Why aren't there any "old husband tales"?

There are. They just get re-branded as "logic" and "the truth".

When do you know a lawyer is telling the truth?

When his lips are shut.