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How can you tell when a vampire is sick?

By his coffin!

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if someone is having a stroke?

There is lotion and used tissues laying around

How do you tell a racist joke without getting in trouble?

Write it down.

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

What made the vampire a gentlemen?

They would always ask their girlfriend before they came inside.

What food do vampires hate?

Steaks.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

What would Michael Jackson be doing if he were alive right now?

Probably clawing at the inside of his coffin.

What would Kim Jong-Il be doing if he was still alive today?

Scratching at the lid of his coffin.