How can you tell when a vampire is sick?

By his coffin!

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What direction does a Walter White-themed GPS tell you to turn?

Goddamn right.

How can you tell if a girls tinder profile is fake?

They're attractive!

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What food do vampires hate?

Steaks.

What do you call a vampire who owns a restaurant?

Count Spatula

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

How do you know when a vampire is sick?

He starts coffin...

Why did the vampire go to the doctors?

Because he was coffin...