Drunk Man Jokes

What 3 things that tell the truth?

Drunk men. Little children. Yoga pants.

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What did the pig say to the drunk man?

Licence and registration please.

Why could the drunk man only move left?

The officer hadn't read him his rights.

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Bet Jokes More Bet Jokes

How hard do you think Joe Biden laughs when a Senate's bill gets 69 votes?

I bet he has to leave the room.

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?

I don't know, but I bet we could pay them less than a group of men for the same amount of work.

300 Jokes More 300 Jokes

How much for that dog?

300$" "What about the half " "I'm sorry, we only sell complete dogs."

How'd he do that?

Because you can't bowl a 300 and lose.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What did the hippie say when I asked him to leave my house?

Nah, I'm-a stay.

Why'd the mushroom go to the party?

Cause he's a fungi! Why'd the fungi leave the party Cause there wasn't mushroom!

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

Why didn't you obey that stop sign?

Driver: I don't believe everything I read.

Why does Helen Keller wear tight jeans?

So people can read her lips.

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Which is the quickest way to make someone lose?

The game.

Why was Santa in the asylum?

He lost his SANTAty

Officer Jokes More Officer Jokes

What do you call a cop standing on dog poo?

Officer on doody.

Why did you ticket the computer?

Officer: It was speeding along the information highway.

Soccer Game Jokes More Soccer Game Jokes

How did the drunk Irish man lose 30$?

He bet 10$ on the soccer game and 20$ on the replay.

Why did the turkey get ejected from the soccer game?

He had tripped a fan.

Licence Jokes More Licence Jokes

Why do you need a licence for a dog and not for a cat?

Cats can't drive!

What did the pig say to the drunk man?

Licence and registration please.