Why does Helen Keller wear tight pants?

So you can read her lips!

This joke may have profanity.
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How to tell if you're wearing too much Axe: 1. Are you wearing Axe?

No- Good. Yes- That's too much.

What do clouds wear under their clothes?

Thunderware.

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Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)

Why do people congratulate you when Mom is the one making the baby?

Me: I helped 5: How Me: 5: Me: I read her the instructions

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Why did Helen Keller try lsd?

Because she was told it makes you see things!

What did Helen Keller say when she picked up a cheese grater?

That was the most violent book I've ever read..........

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How can you tell when a politician is lying?

When their lips move

What signal tells you that a politician is lying?

The lips are moving

Tight Pant Jokes More Tight Pant Jokes

What do tight pants and a cheap motel have in common?

No ballroom.

What do tight pants and a cheap hotel have in common?

No ballroom.