Why does Helen Keller wear tight pants?

So you can read her lips!

This joke may have profanity.

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What do you call a group of 5 guys named Curtis that are all wearing matching suits?

A Curtis-y flush

Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms?

Kids: WE DO! YAY!

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What do New York McDonald's employees and people who read Ulysses have in common?

Liberal Arts Degrees.

What's the difference between Lindsay Lohan and the newspaper?

Lindsay Lohan never reads the newspaper in jail, but the newspaper always reads "Lindsay Lohan in jail"

Helen Keller Jokes More Helen Keller Jokes

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They left the plunger in the toilet.

Why didn't anyone hear Helen Keller fall off a cliff?

She had mittens on.

Lip Jokes More Lip Jokes

Why does Helen Keller wear tight jeans?

So people can read her lips.

How can you tell when a politician is lying?

When their lips move

Tight Pant Jokes More Tight Pant Jokes

What do tight pants and a cheap motel have in common?

No ballroom.

What do tight pants and a cheap hotel have in common?

No ballroom.