Why did Helen Keller play the piano with one hand?

Because she used the other to sing

This joke may have profanity.

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How do you find white shirts on the Internet?

Use a starch engine.

What's the difference between your finger and a hammer?

I don't know! Well you're not using my computer keyboard then!

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What video game system do police officers play in their cars?

Wii U, Wii U, Wii U...

Why did the table love playing volleyball?

Because it was always getting set! I think she gets it from her mother.

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What has two thumbs and got laid last night?

My hands.

When I lose faith in humanity, I think of Chili's just handing out sick, light-up beepers, trusting us to return them. And know what?

We do.

Sing Jokes More Sing Jokes

What do you call an elf that sings?

A wrapper.

What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties?

Happy Birthday to MOO Happy Birthday to Moo

Helen Keller Jokes More Helen Keller Jokes

What did Helen Keller say when she fell into the snow?

Nothing, she was wearing mittens.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They left the plunger in the toilet.

Piano Jokes More Piano Jokes

What do you call an ant who can't play the piano?

Discordant!

What did the pianist do when someone smashed his piano?

He played many more pieces.