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What animal do I respect most?

The octopus. I have no idea what to do with my hands most of the time, and I only have two of them.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time does Sean Connery go to the US Open?

Tennish

What time is it when yo mama sits on a chair?

Time to buy a new chair.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What do you say when someone hands you a nice, ripe blunt in Germany?

Danke

What's strong enough for a man but made for a women?

The back of my hand.

Animal Jokes More Animal Jokes

What is it exactly that separates man from animal?

Divorce

What do you get when you have Tiger Woods, Stephen Hawking, and Dwayne Johnson in the same room?

An Animal, a Vegetable, and a Mineral.

Octopus Jokes More Octopus Jokes

What did one octopus say to the other octopus?

Will you hold my hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand

Where does an octopus go to buy shoes?

Inke

Idea Jokes More Idea Jokes

What animal do I respect most?

The octopus. I have no idea what to do with my hands most of the time, and I only have two of them.

How many graphic designers does it take to change a light bulb?

Does it have to be a light bulb? 'Cause I had this other idea...

Respect Jokes More Respect Jokes

Why don't poor people go to funerals?

They can't afford to pay respects.

What do you call a well respected slave?

A butler.