What animal do I respect most?

The octopus. I have no idea what to do with my hands most of the time, and I only have two of them.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why was the stadium so cool?

It was full of fans.

How many times do I have to tell you this Mom?

I have thousands of fans who need to know my thoughts. So, no I can't take out the garbage.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why did the T-Rex fail his business project?

He couldn't make hands meet.

What happens when you goose a ghost?

You get a hand full of sheet. (Joke from my mom)

Animal Jokes More Animal Jokes

How did Noah get the animals on the ark?

He pokmon!

Why can't animals take tests?

Too many cheetahs!!!!

Octopus Jokes More Octopus Jokes

What do you call an octopus that loves jokes?

A knock-knocktopus.

How did the octopus go to the war?

Well armed...

Idea Jokes More Idea Jokes

What is a dead giveaway someone has no idea what they are doing?

They have an engineering degree.

Where do conspiracy theorists keep their ideas?

In a skeptic tank.

Respect Jokes More Respect Jokes

Why in the hell do you have so much respect but I don't?

Cat: "You 'bow' while me 'owe'."

What animal do I respect most?

The octopus. I have no idea what to do with my hands most of the time, and I only have two of them.