How many times do I have to tell you this Mom?

I have thousands of fans who need to know my thoughts. So, no I can't take out the garbage.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

When does a dyslexic person know they've bought the wrong SUV?

When they're in Denali.

How do people know spiders are more afraid of me than I am of them?

Like, did you ask him Because only one of us is screaming right now.

Fan Jokes More Fan Jokes

Whats the name of a bodybuilder whose a fan of the X-Men?

Huge Jackman

Why was Nikola Tesla a fan of Marvel?

Because he didn't like DC...

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell when a blonde is dating?

By the buckle print on her forehead.

How can you tell if someone went to the gym?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

How did your mom know you hadn't washed your face?

I forgot to wet the soap.

How fast can Klingon's run?

About Warf speed. My mom made this joke up last night at a bbq party. She likes to think she is funnier on holidays. Thanks, Mom.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

When is the only time a white NFL wide receiver is a good thing?

When your sister tells you she's dating an NFL wide receiver.

What time does Andy Murray go to bed?

Tennish!

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why the hell are Zach Braff, Zach Galifianakis & Zac Efron not running around Hollywood as the "Zach Pack"?

This needs to happen.

What do you need to do after burning your balls on the asphalt of a dead end street?

You need to cul de sac.

Thought Jokes More Thought Jokes

What's the difference between North Korea amd South Korea?

North Koreans have no Seoul. Thought of this very early in the morning waiting to board a plane.

How many times do I have to tell you this Mom?

I have thousands of fans who need to know my thoughts. So, no I can't take out the garbage.

Garbage Jokes More Garbage Jokes

What do you call a bee in the garage?

Garbage.

Where do trailer park miscarriages go?

Out of the trash and into the garbage

Thousand Jokes More Thousand Jokes

How does a blonde count a thousand sheep?

She counts the legs, and divides by 4.

What's the difference between a Blues musician and a Jazz musician?

A blues musician plays 3 chords to audiences of thousands. A jazz musician plays thousands of chords to audiences of 3