Thought Jokes

How does Kurt Cobain collect his thoughts?

With a mop.

Why didn't the monk sell his temple?

Thought of this one on my own while playing WoW a couple days ago and I'm pretty sure it hasn't been told before. I like corny jokes. I Googled it and didn't find anything (:

What's the difference between North Korea amd South Korea?

North Koreans have no Seoul. Thought of this very early in the morning waiting to board a plane.

What are your thoughts on monorails?

They make decent one-liners.

Where do we keep our thoughts detained?

In brain cells!

What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?

Aw sheet! One of my favorite, cheesiest jokes of all time. Thought it would be a good first post to Reddit!

What did the black horse name its daughter?

Sha-neigh-neigh. Thought of it at work.

Where's the most racist place to focus one's thoughts?

Inward

Why is Santa Claus so jolly?

He knows where all the naughty girls live. I actually heard this in the video game LA Noire. Thought it was pretty funny so I bust it out every Christmas.

What's your thoughts on renewable energy?

2: I'm a big fan.

What are your thoughts on it?

ME: trying to impress her I have 6 wives

April Sale

What does a Jedi say after a tragic loss of life?

May my thoughts be with them".

What is a Furman freshman doing when he grasps at thin air?

Collecting his thoughts.

How did he get from Afghanistan to Iraq?

Iran (He ran). Thought of this when looking at the world map, sorry that it's terrible.

What are your thoughts on new soup technology?

I say Progresso at any cost.

What thoughts do Blondes have after reading these jokes?

None as usual... and they most likely didn't understand them either.

Where's the nearest cycle path you meant?

Thought you said psychopath.

How very is a very good dinosaur?

Very. (Thought of this idk if it was good)

How many times do I have to tell you this Mom?

I have thousands of fans who need to know my thoughts. So, no I can't take out the garbage.

What is mitosis?

Those are the things on the ends of my feetsis. Thought of this during my last bio exam.

What do you get when offering a blonde a penny for her thoughts?

Change.

April Sale

When Bruce Banner gets constipated do you think he turns into The Hulk?

Just one of the thoughts I have during important business meetings

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Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What happened to the tree when the lumber jack hit on it?

It got all sappy

What is not allowed in the ring, but boxers do every night?

Hit the sack.

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What did the predators say before they went hunting?

Let us prey first.

What key won't let you through any doors?

A turkey.

Roll Jokes More Roll Jokes

Why is the orange Rolling down the road?

Because it's run out of juice!!!!!! (:

What does Optimus Prime say on 4-20?

Autobots, roll up!

Past Tense Jokes More Past Tense Jokes

What is the definition of "moon"?

The past tense of "moo"!

What is the past tense of 'think'?

So I thought and thought and thought and eventually I picked 'thinked'.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Why isn't /u/JokeExplainBot here anymore?

There aren't jokes here. There are reposts here.

What kind of farm has lots of books but no livestock?

Barns and no-bulls. (This joke was made up by my 7 year-old cousin.)

Mexico Jokes More Mexico Jokes

What do you call Squidward's Protest Group in Mexico?

Counter-Esp on ge

Why is Mexico's flag green, white, and red?

Guacamole, sour cream, and salsa.

80 Jokes More 80 Jokes

Why does the Brotherhood of Steel from Fallout hate '80s music?

Because of the synths.

What has eight arms and an IQ of 80?

Four girlfriends drinking on St Patricks Day!

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

I am not funny and I need to be. I am writing a script for a short show that's formatted like "Weekend Update" on Saturday Night Live. So that means one sentence about the topic, and then one liner joke. Thank you all!

Why don't they play poker in the savanna?

Because there are too many cheetahs. Thank you i will be here all day.