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Mexico Jokes

Why was Mexico willing to pay to build the wall between the US and Mexico?

So the can finally have a good Olympic team.

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Why did the tourist visiting Mexico bring Prolax and pepper spray?

They prevented Hispanic attacks

Where is Wall Street?

Between Mexico and the US.

Why did the Mexican jump the border?

To get back to Mexico

What's the most popular sports channel in Mexico?

ESPOL

What do you call a can made in Mexico?

A Mexican.

Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?

Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S.

Why does Mexico do so poorly in the Olympics?

Because everybody who can run, jump, or swim is already in America.

Why doesn't Mexico have a good Olympic team?

Because all the ones that can run, jump and swim are already in America.

Why does Mexico never win the Olympics?

Because anyone who can run, jump, or swim already left.

What's Mexico's national sport?

Cross country

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How is Bernie going to pay for free college for everyone?

No problem! He'll just make Mexico pay for it!

Why does Mexico always underperform in the summer Olympics?

Because everyone that can run, swim or jump is in USA.

Why was Jesus not Mexican?

No matter how hard God looked, he could not find three wise men or a virgin anywhere in Mexico

Which is the most common font i Mexico?

El Vetica.

Why did I quit my job in Mexico?

It didn't peso well.

Who's the best detective in Mexico?

Sherlock-Holmes

Why is it called Justice League of America?

Do they follow territorial boundaries? If the Kaos Kommandos start a brawl in El Paso and it rolls over into Juarez, do they say "screw it, let Justice League of Mexico handle it"? (Sorry if this isn't technically a joke; it was my shower thought this morning and I thought it was funny.)

What's the best part about buying dishes that are made in Mexico?

They wash themselves.

Why doesn't Mexico win Olympic Medals?

Because all their best runners, jumpers, and swimmers are in America.

Why does Mexico do so badly in the Olympics?

Because everyone who can run, jump or swim is in the US.

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What is Mexico's favorite sport?

Cross-country

What is Mexico's National Sport?

Cross-Country

What do you call a sinking ship from BP's Mexico division?

A Pedro leak.

What do you call Squidward's Protest Group in Mexico?

Counter-Esp on ge

Why has Mexico never won olympic gold?

All those who can run, jump and swim are in Texas.

Why is Mexico's flag green, white, and red?

Guacamole, sour cream, and salsa.

What does a burning Mexican farm smell like?

Tacos. Overheard an old man telling another guy how he lost his farm in Mexico, and how the smell reminded him of tacos.

Why doesn't Mexico have a team in the summer Olympics?

Because all the ones who can run, jump or swim are ready in the US.

Why isn't Mexico in the Summer Olympics?

Everyone who can run, jump, and swim are already over here.

Why did the Dalai Lama go to Mexico?

So he can be juan with everything.

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Why does Mexico never wins any medals at the Olympic Games?

Because everyone who runs, swims, or jump really well is already across the border.

How do they play basketball in Mexico?

Juan on Juan

Why does Mexico never get gold medals in Olympics?

Because all their swimmers, runners, and high jumpers are in USA.

Why does Mexico rarely wins medals at the Olympic Games?

All the ones who can run/swim/jump already made it to America.

How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?

Fleece Navidad!

What did the Mexico team travel back home with?

Luggage full of goals.

What do you call a fight in Mexico?

A Juan on Juan.

Why did Mexico reduce the number of days an American tourist can stay in their country from 180 days to 90 days?

Because after 90 days in Mexico, even they try to enter the US illegally.

What do they call pita bread in Mexico?

Pita pan

What is the difference between a 14 year old boy in the U.S. and one in Mexico?

A 14 year old boy in the U.S. is a freshman and one in Mexico is a senor

Why does Mexico always do so poorly in the Olympics?

Anyone who could run, swim or jump made it to the USA.

Why is impersonating John Cena illegal in Mexico?

Because there's only Juan Cena

When they named the state of New Mexico were they degrading the state or honoring Mexico?

It seemed funnier when I first said it. is this how it always happens

How do you know when Mexico is playing in the World Cup?

Literally all gardening stops

What do you call a woman on a cruise ship in Mexico using the diving board at the pool?

A broad abroad on a board aboard.

What kind of trees watch kids in Mexico?

Baby cedar

What is the official novel of Mexico?

Tequila Mockingbird

Why doesn't Mexico have its own Olympic team?

Because all those who can run, jump, or swim are already in the US.

What would you call Jesus if he was born in Mexico?

The Chosen Juan.

Why doesn't Mexico send a team to the Summer Olympics?

Because all the one that can run, jump, or swim are already in the US.

What do you get when you mix Mexico with literature?

Tequila Mockingbird

What is the most popular novel in Mexico?

Tequila mocking bird

What do you call the top wealthiest people in Mexico?

The Juan percent.

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What do you call a frog that jumps half the distance to its destination every time?

An asymptoad.

Whats green and can jump a mile a minute?

A frog with hiccups!

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What did the U.S. airdrop to the children of Afghanistan?

Bombs

Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?

Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S.

Prevent Jokes More Prevent Jokes

What do you call a girl who's preventing you from reaching your goal?

A keeper

What has 125 teeth and prevents a savage beast from escaping?

My zipper.

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Why is Bill Gates scared of the number 7?

Because 7 8 10.

What's your cell phone?

IPhone. - No, I meant the number. - It's a 6. - No, to contact you. - I don't use it for that.

Hispanic Jokes More Hispanic Jokes

What did the Hispanic fireman name his two twin sons?

Jose and Hose B

What about Asians and Hispanics?

What they really need is Nonwhitepeoplemeet.com

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

How many dogs does it take to count 14 plates?

14, maybe 15, but only if the plates... 'run around a lot!'

How do you get out of the stomach of an elephant?

Run around until you get pooped out

Reduce Jokes More Reduce Jokes

Which presidential candidate does Tom Brady support?

Whichever can reduce inflation.

Why did Mexico reduce the number of days an American tourist can stay in their country from 180 days to 90 days?

Because after 90 days in Mexico, even they try to enter the US illegally.

America Jokes More America Jokes

Why aren't their Mexican Olympics?

Because all of the Mexicans that can run,jump,and swim are in America!

What's the difference between America any yogurt?

If you leave yogurt alone for 300 years, it develops a culture.