What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?

They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why is CoD: Infinite Warfare set in space?

Because no one on earth wants to buy it.

How did you lose your last job?

I quit because I wanted a career with a bright future." Sir, this is McDonald's.

American Jokes More American Jokes

What did the American accountant say to his British counterpart?

Mind the GAAP.

What is the difference between an American rabbit and a French rabbit?

The American rabbit goes hippity hop and the French rabbit goes lickety split!

Pea Jokes More Pea Jokes

What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?

They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

What's an idealist vegetarian's favorite meal?

Peas and hominy

Visit Jokes More Visit Jokes

Why did the tourist visiting Mexico bring Prolax and pepper spray?

They prevented hispanic attacks

Why would anybody ever want to visit New Brunswick?

I hear their bowling alleys are pretty nice.

Peace Jokes More Peace Jokes

Why can't there ever be peace in the Middle East?

We can't even get FIVE DENTISTS to agree on a toothpaste. That's why.

What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer?

Peace and carrots... Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle...

Pee Jokes More Pee Jokes

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl when it pees?

Because the p is silent.

Why bother drinking water?

You're just gonna pee it out. This is what Big Water doesn't want you to know.

Middle East Jokes More Middle East Jokes

When was pasta introduced to the Middle East?

When someone fed a genie alfredo

What do you call a witness to an event in the Middle East?

A Dubaistander. Yeah I thought of it myself.

Iraqi Jokes More Iraqi Jokes

What do you call the piece of plastic behind the windshield in an Iraqi car?

A Daeshboard

What did the Iraqi boy say when his dad forgot his rucksack?

Baghdad!

Jerusalem Jokes More Jerusalem Jokes

What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?

They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

How did Jesus get across Jerusalem on a busy Friday afternoon?

Cross traffic doesn't stop.

American President Jokes More American President Jokes

How many American presidents does it take to change a broken lightbulb?

None, broken lightbulbs have the rights to be treated as a normal lightbulb.

Which American President was least guilty?

Abraham Lincoln. He was in a cent.