Pee Jokes

Why can't you hear Michelle Pfeiffer use the restroom?

Because her pee is silent.

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What does Justin Timberlake say when he goes to the bathroom?

It's Gonna be Pee

What airline allows you to pee in cruise?

Wizz Air

What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?

They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

Why do you have to pee so quickly after you start drinking beer?

Because it doesn't have to stop off to change color!

What does a scientist who has an epiphany while peeing say?

Urea!

What happens if you pee on Putin's head?

Urine big trouble...

What did the toilet say to the pee?

Urine

Why does a pterodactyl always urinate on the side of the bowl?

Because the pee is silent.

What did the poop say to the pee when he was hitting on her?

I may be a two but your an eight..

What happens when everyone in the country takes a pee at the same time?

Urine-nation!

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Why did the Teletubbies find it hard to pee?

They only have one Tinkie-Winkie

What does it sound like when a pterodactyl uses the bathroom?

Nothing, the pee is silent

What do you say if your peeing in Ireland and spot a leprechaun?

Urine luck

What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)

Why did the model pee herself?

She was all dressed up with no place to go!

What did the boy pee say to the girl pee?

Urine angel.

Why can't you tell when a pterodactyl is going to the bathroom?

Because the pee is silent.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl when it pees?

Because the p is silent.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

Because the pee is silent.

What does Justin Timberlake say when he's going to the bathroom?

It's Gonna Be Pee

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl peeing?

Because P is silent.

Who cares if you pee in the shower?

The bride and all her guests, apparently.

Why's a pretty girl like you sitting all alone?

Me: I peed my pants.

What happened to wendy on her way to neverland?

She peed her pants (read out loud)

What can 5 men do that 5 women can't do?

Pee in a cup.

Why didn't Pope John Paul let dogs into the Vatican?

Because they pee on poles.

Why does Euler's Number say it's "going number 2" when it pees?

Because its natural log is 1.

What did the priest announce before he went for a bath?

Speak now or forever hold your pee!

What do dads say when they see someone peeing?

European.

Why bother drinking water?

You're just gonna pee it out. This is what Big Water doesn't want you to know.

What did the doctor say to the man who couldn't pee?

Urine trouble!

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Restroom Jokes More Restroom Jokes

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the restroom?

Because they're extinct

What do you get when a superhero has to use the restroom?

A comic relief.

Cruise Jokes More Cruise Jokes

What airline allows you to pee in cruise?

Wizz Air

What is Tom's favorite kind of joyride?

A cruise

Airline Jokes More Airline Jokes

Why the largest state in US has their own Airlines?

Alaska

Why'd the vulture check his bag?

The airline didn't allow carrion luggage.

Bathroom Jokes More Bathroom Jokes

How does a mathematician go to the bathroom?

He works it out with a pencil.

Why didn't the blond want to use her phone while using the bathroom?

She was afraid someone would steal her IP address.

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

How many Saiyans does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but it takes 5 episodes.

What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys?

Coach.

Polar Bear Jokes More Polar Bear Jokes

Why did the polar bears on Noah's Ark hang out near the insects?

They were looking for the ark tick.

What is the definition of a polar bear?

A rectangular bear after a coordinate transformation.

Hole Jokes More Hole Jokes

Is there a hole in your shoe?

No… Then how’d you get your foot in it?

Why did Silly Sue throw her guitar away?

Because it had a hole in the middle.

Allow Jokes More Allow Jokes

Why were some people not allowed in to the Poet College?

Because they were bard.

Why does Brendon Rodgers hate Twitter?

It only allows 140 characters