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What do you call a pirate who is lost at sea and has to drink his own pee to survive?

Aarrrrrrr Kelly!

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Sea Jokes More Sea Jokes

What does Brian Johnson say on the beach?

I see the sea...

What buzzes is black and yellow and goes along the bottom of the sea?

A bee in a submarine!

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What's the best way for an American to lose weight?

Gamble in British currency.

What did the sarcastic taximan say when he lost his job?

Oh well that's just uber, isn't it

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why aren't you allowed alcohol on a golf course?

Because it's a crime to drink and drive.

Where do geographers go for a drink?

The Isobar

Pirate Jokes More Pirate Jokes

Why does it take a pirate so long to finish saying the alphabet?

Because they spend years at sea.

Why was the Muslim sad when he bought a pirated disc?

Because the Disc was cracked

Survive Jokes More Survive Jokes

What do you call a soldier who's survived mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran.

When you fall in love it burns and you die, right?

Yes, son. Love is terrible. "No Mom, I said LAVA." Oh. You maybe can survive that one.

Pee Jokes More Pee Jokes

What did the priest announce before he went for a bath?

Speak now or forever hold your pee!

What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup?

You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)