Survive Jokes

What do you call LeVar Burton that survived months of being lost in the wilderness?

Geordi La Forage

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Who survived?

The pilot who jumped out with a parachute.

What animal can only survive in temperate climates?

A lukeworm.

What human organ would survive the longest in the hunger games?

The liver

Who has one thumb and survived a band saw accident?

This guy!!!

How are college students like plants?

They both need natural light to survive!

What do you call a soldier who survives mustard gas and pepper spray attacks?

A seasoned veteran.

How did Bilbo survive the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy?

Because old Hobbits die hard...

What do you call a soldier who survives Mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran.

What happens when an American has a heart attack and survives?

A 'murical.

What kind of bug can survive all winter?

A bahumbug!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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How did Warren Buffets company survive the economic meltdown?

It's a trade secret, but don't worry, Berkshire Hathaway

What's the difference between a guy wearing a bullet proof vest and the English football team?

The guy would survive the first round.

Why is a room of 50 doctors safer than a room with 1000 doctors?

You can't survive in 1000 degrees. *credit to my friend Neriah.

What do you call a soldier who survived pepper spray and mustard gas?

A seasoned veteran

What do you call a soldier who's survived mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran.

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Liver Jokes More Liver Jokes

How many livers do people have?

I want to make sure I have a backup before I put this thing on Ebay.

What do you call someone without a Liver?

Deader.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why the hell are Zach Braff, Zach Galifianakis & Zac Efron not running around Hollywood as the "Zach Pack"?

This needs to happen.

How many ants are needed to fill an apartment?

Ten ants!

Parachute Jokes More Parachute Jokes

Who survived?

The pilot who jumped out with a parachute.

What do you call two line dancers doing the dance Shoot the Rooster?

A. A Pair of Shoot (parachute)

Wilderness Jokes More Wilderness Jokes

What do you call an actor who has given up civilized life and gone to live in the wilderness?

Will Feral. Edit: I tried

What do you call LeVar Burton that survived months of being lost in the wilderness?

Geordi La Forage

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What do ghosts drink for Halloween?

BOOOOZE!

Where does a Martian go for a drink?

A Mars Bar

Animal Jokes More Animal Jokes

What's the difference between a zoo in Louisiana and a zoo anywhere else?

In Louisiana, next to the plaque with the animal's name, they've got a good recipe.

Where do animals go when they lose their tails?

The retail store!

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What do you give a losing horse with lockjaw?

A new jaw-key

What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?

Lost

Plane Jokes More Plane Jokes

When does a Pentagon not have 5 sides?

When it's intersected by a plane

Why did the pilot crash the plane?

Because he was a slice of bread