Survive Jokes

What do you call LeVar Burton that survived months of being lost in the wilderness?

Geordi La Forage

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Who survived?

The pilot who jumped out with a parachute.

What animal can only survive in temperate climates?

A lukeworm.

What human organ would survive the longest in the hunger games?

The liver

Who has one thumb and survived a band saw accident?

This guy!!!

How are college students like plants?

They both need natural light to survive!

What do you call a soldier who survives mustard gas and pepper spray attacks?

A seasoned veteran.

How did Bilbo survive the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy?

Because old Hobbits die hard...

What do you call a soldier who survives Mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran.

What happens when an American has a heart attack and survives?

A 'murical.

What kind of bug can survive all winter?

A bahumbug!

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How did Warren Buffets company survive the economic meltdown?

It's a trade secret, but don't worry, Berkshire Hathaway

What's the difference between a guy wearing a bullet proof vest and the English football team?

The guy would survive the first round.

Why is a room of 50 doctors safer than a room with 1000 doctors?

You can't survive in 1000 degrees. *credit to my friend Neriah.

What do you call a soldier who survived pepper spray and mustard gas?

A seasoned veteran

What do you call a soldier who's survived mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran.

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Congratulation Jokes More Congratulation Jokes

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What does Putin say during his New Year's speech?

Don't know but its so scary that they drink for ten days straight right after!

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What is it called when a guy called Justin gets justice?

Justinice.

What do you get when you cross a philosopher, an insomniac and a dyslexic?

A guy who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog. Infinite Jest, by DFW

Survival Jokes More Survival Jokes

Rwandan Jokes More Rwandan Jokes

College Student Jokes More College Student Jokes

How do college students exercise?

By swimming in their debt.

Where do college students go for medical attention?

An I.V. League.

Liver Jokes More Liver Jokes

What do you call someone without a Liver?

Deader.

Why is OP's dog never satisfied?

They don't do liver

Month Jokes More Month Jokes

What does December have that other months dont have?

The letter D.

Why was the blond happy she finished the jigsaw puzzle in six months?

It said 2 to 4 years on the box.