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What's the difference between a guy wearing a bullet proof vest and the English football team?

The guy would survive the first round.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a bluebird and a elephant?

They both have wings, except for the elephant.

What is the difference between my car and Whitney Houston?

My car can hit 50.

Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What do you call a guy who likes to lose?

Ewan

Whats the difference between a guy who has a new Mercedes and a guy who has an old Mercedes?

The guy who has a new Mercedes is rich. The guy who has an old Mercedes has been rich for a longer time.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What do you call a whale that isn't wearing any underwear?

Free Willy

Why do elephants wear green shoes?

So they can sneak across pool tables. Have you ever seen an elephant sneaking across a pool table? Works, doesn't it?

English Jokes More English Jokes

What do you get when you cross an English bulldog and a Shih Tzu?

A bull-shiht!

Why did the mathematician get an F on his English quiz?

He wrote, "i is the square root of negative 1."

Round Jokes More Round Jokes

How many volunteers do we have for my evil army?

384 my liege" "Ok, round them up" "400 my liege"

How do you count cows?

You use a cow-culator. Or you round them up. Or any other method the commenters want.

Survive Jokes More Survive Jokes

When you fall in love it burns and you die, right?

Yes, son. Love is terrible. "No Mom, I said LAVA." Oh. You maybe can survive that one.

How did Bilbo survive the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy?

Because old Hobbits die hard...