What does Putin say during his New Year's speech?

Don't know but its so scary that they drink for ten days straight right after!

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What did the clown say after having a few drinks?

I'm feeling funny

Why do ISIS fighters only drink instant coffee?

Because they hate the French Press. (This joke used to be more topical)

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How did my doctor know I have minor IBS?

I just asked him to edit my essay and he said I have semi colon problems. He must be a smart guy if he can figure that out from my writing.

How do you know God isn't black?

Because it's not "I is who I is" My brother is 35...

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why is Thanksgiving such a special holiday at the gas station?

It is a day to be tankful.

What do bees say to psych themselves up at the start of their day?

Leeeeeetttttssss get rrrrrrrrrready to Buuuuuuummmmmmmmmmbbbbbbllllllleeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!

Putin Jokes More Putin Jokes

What do you get when you place a Russian leader on a cracker?

Putin on the Ritz.

What's Vladimir's favorite song?

Putin on the Ritz