Month Jokes

What do you call LeVar Burton that survived months of being lost in the wilderness?

Geordi La Forage

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Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only six months?

Because on the box it said From 2 to 4 years.

How many seconds are in a year?

Only 12. One for every month.

What month was King Kong born in?

Ape-ril

What do you get when Steve Jobs hires and fires a lot of people in six months?

An Apple turnover.

What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?

I think we should sea otter people.

What are a gorilla's favorite months?

Ape-ril and Bananuary

How long have we had that pillow?

Wife: No idea Memory foam pillow: Two years, five months and two days

Who is a Project Manager?

Project Manager is a person who believes that 9 women can deliver a baby in one month.

What does December have that other months dont have?

The letter D.

What is the Rebel Alliance's least favorite month?

The Imperial March.

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How was your trip to Israel?

This month they had Sukkot (the festival of tabernacles) It was pretty "in tents".

When is the month when the most trees fall?

Sep-timber

What happened to Frankenstein's monster on the road?

He was stopped for speeding fined $50 and dismantled for six months.

What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?

The letter "D"!

What about Fox News?

They haven't shown a fox in months. (Craig Ferguson)

What did the lesbian-vampire say to her girlfriend?

See ya next month.

Why was the blond happy she finished the jigsaw puzzle in six months?

It said 2 to 4 years on the box.

Why did the man tear a page out of the calendar?

He wanted to take a month off.

Whats the month people get most drunk in?

Febrewery

Why was Adele's phone bill $500 this month?

She must have called a 1,000 times

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Why was the blonde so happy after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only six months?

Because on the box it said From 2 to 4 years.

What is the date in Germany/Brasil in about a month from now?

Germany/Brasil 7-1

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Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What did the daddy salt say to his son?

Stop cracking your NaCles.

What did the buffalo say when dropping off his son at college?

Bison.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

What type of wife always knows where her husband is?

A widow

What would you do if I died?

Husband: I would go crazy Wife: Would you re-marry Husband: Ah, not that crazy..

2 4 Year Jokes More 2 4 Year Jokes

Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only six months?

Because on the box it said From 2 to 4 years.

Why was the blonde so happy after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only six months?

Because on the box it said From 2 to 4 years.

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

What does an accountant say when you ask him the time?

It's 9.18 am and 12 seconds no wait - 13 seconds no wait - 14 seconds no wait......

How does a blonde set the time on her alarm clock?

She waits until midnight and plugs it back in. Disclaimer: I know it's terrible, I was very young when I came up with it.

Humor Jokes More Humor Jokes

What molecule has the best sense of humor?

A helium polymer.

What's the shortest book in the world?

Deutscher Humor!

28 Day Jokes More 28 Day Jokes

How many months have 28 days?

All of them

How many months have 28 days in a leap year?

12 months not just February!

Bleed Jokes More Bleed Jokes

What bleeds once a month and has absolutely no sense of humor?

Me. I'm pretty clumsy so I get paper cuts pretty regularly.

What has two legs and bleeds profusely?

Half a cat

Box Jokes More Box Jokes

Why did Rudolfo salute the box of Cornflakes in the supermarket?

Because the label said General Foods.

Why was the blond excited when she finished her puzzle after 6 months?

Because the box said 2-4 years!