April Sale - 20% Off

Month Jokes

What do you call LeVar Burton that survived months of being lost in the wilderness?

Geordi La Forage

Love

Love

How long does it take for a black woman to poop?

Nine months.

Which is the month in which women talk the least?

February... because it has the least number of days

What does a woman get every month that lasts 3-5 days?

Her husband's salary.

Why does Woody Harrelson's wife call him Moses?

Because he Ramparts the Red Sea each month

How do you get a date on Tinder?

Seriously guys, I've been trying for months so if anyone have any useful tips it would be much appreciated.

Where is Jennifer's husband?

Jennifer is 21 years older than her son Douglas. 6 years from now, Jennifer will be 5 times as old as Douglas. Question: Where is Jennifer's husband? Solution: J=D+21 J+6=5(D+6) According to my math, Douglas has 3/4 years, which means -9 months. Pregnancy lasts for nine months, so Jennifer's husband is in the bed with her right now. Sauce:

Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only six months?

Because on the box it said From 2 to 4 years.

How many seconds are in a year?

Only 12. One for every month.

What month was King Kong born in?

Ape-ril

What's the best time of this month for vampires?

It depends on the girl

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What do you get when Steve Jobs hires and fires a lot of people in six months?

An Apple turnover.

What do women and werewolves have in common?

Offensive) They both go berserk once every month.

What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?

I think we should sea otter people.

What's the difference between an orphan home and a terrorists' boot camp?

I don't know. I'm retiring next month.

What are a gorilla's favorite months?

Ape-ril and Bananuary

How long have I got?

Not long. Two, three months" casually places apple on desk "Ok, ok, six. Just get that out of here!"

How long have we had that pillow?

Wife: No idea Memory foam pillow: Two years, five months and two days

Who is a Project Manager?

Project Manager is a person who believes that 9 women can deliver a baby in one month.

Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

Why are YOU afraid?

Doc: I'm not Me: You said you were Doc: I lied. You got a month. HAPPY NOW

Love Card

Love Card

What does December have that other months dont have?

The letter D.

What is the Rebel Alliance' least favorite month?

The Imperial March.

How was your trip to Israel?

This month they had Sukkot (the festival of tabernacles) It was pretty "in tents".

What gift do you want?

HUSBAND: "An English girl." After a month, wife returns.. HUSBAND: "Where is my gift " WIFE: "Wait for nine months!"

What do you mean, ten?

Ten years Ten months Ten-" "Nine... Eight..."

When is the month when the most trees fall?

Sep-timber

What happened to Frankenstein's monster on the road?

He was stopped for speeding fined $50 and dismantled for six months.

What brings you here?

14.99 per month and a addiction to a game that's been failing since Cata

What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?

The letter "D"!

What about Fox News?

They haven't shown a fox in months. (Craig Ferguson)

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What did the lesbian-vampire say to her girlfriend?

See ya next month.

Why was the blond happy she finished the jigsaw puzzle in six months?

It said 2 to 4 years on the box.

Why did the man tear a page out of the calendar?

He wanted to take a month off.

Whats the month people get most drunk in?

Febrewery

Why was Adele's phone bill $500 this month?

She must have called a 1,000 times

Why was the blonde so happy after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only six months?

Because on the box it said From 2 to 4 years.

What is the date in Germany/Brasil in about a month from now?

Germany/Brasil 7-1

You might also enjoy:

28 Day Jokes More 28 Day Jokes

How many have 28 days?

All 12

How many months have 28 days in a leap year?

12 months not just February!

Jigsaw Puzzle Jokes More Jigsaw Puzzle Jokes

Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?

Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.

Why was the blonde so happy after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only six months?

Because on the box it said From 2 to 4 years.

Accord Jokes More Accord Jokes

What was the #1 summer blockbuster, according to Cat Fancy magazine?

Mad Manx: Furry Road

Where is Jennifer's husband?

Jennifer is 21 years older than her son Douglas. 6 years from now, Jennifer will be 5 times as old as Douglas. Question: Where is Jennifer's husband? Solution: J=D+21 J+6=5(D+6) According to my math, Douglas has 3/4 years, which means -9 months. Pregnancy lasts for nine months, so Jennifer's husband is in the bed with her right now. Sauce:

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What did MC Hammer name his son?

Arman.

Why did you name your son Tinnitus?

I don't know, me and my wife just thought it had a nice ring to it.

Gift Jokes More Gift Jokes

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas?

I don't know. He still hasn't opened his gifts.

What do you give a kid with no hands for Christmas?

Doesnt matter, he'll never unwrap the gift

Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What animal always goes to bed with its shoes on?

A horse!

What does a carpenter do after one night stand?

A matching one for the other side of the bed.

Bleed Jokes More Bleed Jokes

What do you call a confederate that's bleeding out?

A rebel without a gauze

What's got two legs, spots and bleeds?

Half a cheetah.

Pregnancy Jokes More Pregnancy Jokes

What's the worst STD you can get from a black man?

Pregnancy.

Where is Jennifer's husband?

Jennifer is 21 years older than her son Douglas. 6 years from now, Jennifer will be 5 times as old as Douglas. Question: Where is Jennifer's husband? Solution: J=D+21 J+6=5(D+6) According to my math, Douglas has 3/4 years, which means -9 months. Pregnancy lasts for nine months, so Jennifer's husband is in the bed with her right now. Sauce: