What does an accountant say when you ask him the time?

It's 9.18 am and 12 seconds no wait - 13 seconds no wait - 14 seconds no wait......

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What is Santa's favorite type of cookie?

Ask your dad.

What are they gonna do?

Ask you to extinguish your celery Doubtful.

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What did the LGBT art teacher tell the kids to use when their projects needed glue?

Wait for it... wait for it...) brucilage!!!!!!!!

Why is food better than men?

Because you don't have to wait an hour for seconds.

Accountant Jokes More Accountant Jokes

What's a shy and retiring accountant?

An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's retiring.

Why can't accountants get library cards?

They're book-keepers.

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What does an accountant say when you ask him the time?

It's 9.18 am and 12 seconds no wait - 13 seconds no wait - 14 seconds no wait......

What does $50 get you at the Chanel store?

13 seconds of eye contact.