What does an accountant say when you ask him the time?

It's 9.18 am and 12 seconds no wait - 13 seconds no wait - 14 seconds no wait......

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What's your favourite Pixar film?

Up, yours " "No need to be like that I was only asking"

Why do people say its not you... it's me in a breakup?

Yeah it's YOU, you're an idiot! I'm amazing... ask your brother!

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Where did the joke wait to get a drink?

The punch line...

What do bees do if they want to use public transport?

Wait at a buzz stop!

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What's a shy and retiring accountant?

An accountant who is half a million shy and that's why he's retiring.

Why did the accountant cross the road?

Because that's what they did last year.

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What does $50 get you at the Chanel store?

13 seconds of eye contact.

What does an accountant say when you ask him the time?

It's 9.18 am and 12 seconds no wait - 13 seconds no wait - 14 seconds no wait......