When somebody asks for a raise
People laughed, because it was a good joke.
I laugh at neither of them.
He says, "Gourmet I be excused?"
Nevermind they'll just tell you anyway
Blackbirds
It's 2:00 in the morning. Her: I don't know. Do burglars knock Me: It depends on how they were raised...
Wait 15 seconds, they'll tell you.
3-year-old: Woof woof. Me: Horses 3: Neigh. Me: Pigs 3: Sizzle sizzle. Somebody understands bacon.
Because that's what they did last year.
X-post from /r/tax) A present liability!
