How do you tell the difference between a chemistry professor and a politician?

Just ask them to read this word: unionized.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between snowmen and snow women?

Snow balls. Ha

How can you tell the difference between a thermometer and a rectal thermometer?

The taste.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why should you never tell jokes on the ice?

The ice might crack up! I use this at the beginning of conversations... it's a reall ice breaker.

How can you tell there is a Canadian in your closet?

You can hear someone scooting aboot in it

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did Ryu say when I asked if I could have some of his food?

SHORYUKEN***

Who did the philosophy major ask out for the Halloween dance?

Nobody. He was too 'Freud.

Word Jokes More Word Jokes

What two words result in the most marriages?

Screw it. EDIT: has a better answer

What does a rapper use to write their songs?

Word,yo.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

Why do the KGB operate in groups of three?

A. "One can read, one can write and one to keep an eye on the two intellectuals."

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

Politician Jokes More Politician Jokes

What's the most dangerous place in Washington D.C.?

Between a politician and a news camera.

What do politicians and diapers have in common?

Both should be changed regularly, and both for the same reason.

Unionize Jokes More Unionize Jokes

How do you tell a chemist from a non-chemist?

Ask them to pronounce 'unionized.'

How can you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

You ask them to pronounce unionize.