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How long have we had that pillow?

Wife: No idea Memory foam pillow: Two years, five months and two days

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What's the one thing you don't want to hear when fighting with your wife on a long road trip?

Recalculating route.

Why did the mathematician bring home 24 eggs from the grocery store?

Because when he asked his wife how many eggs to buy, she said 4!

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What's that movie about the girl who forgets Adam Sandler every day?

I want to know her secret

What did the Wealth of Nations say to the Communist Manifesto to cheer it up?

Some day you will be red!

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What's life like in the year 3000?

It's pretty much the same as 2015 but you can download a towel

How many have you derailed this year?

I replied, "I'm not sure, it's hard to keep track"

Month Jokes More Month Jokes

What do women and werewolves have in common?

Offensive) They both go berserk once every month.

Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.

Idea Jokes More Idea Jokes

What is the opposite of Imagination?

I have no idea.

What is Blair Walsh's favorite song?

I have no idea honestly, you would have to ask him

Pillow Jokes More Pillow Jokes

What am I a pillow now?

Her: Yep, and pillows don't talk. I think we're bonding.

What's worse than finding a horse's head on your pillow?

Realising the horse is alive and well and how much did I drink last night!