How long have we had that pillow?

Wife: No idea Memory foam pillow: Two years, five months and two days

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What do you do when you see your wife stumbling around in the backyard?

Shoot her again.

What did the sniper say to his wife when he came back from work?

I missed you

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why do I always seem to start my day backwards?

I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake

What's the most problematic time of day?

4:04

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

How do you guys think the Germans will do in the Olympics this year?

Not too well considering they can't finish a race.

What do you call a skeleton with blonde hair in a closet?

Last year's winner of the blonde "hide and go seek" contest

Month Jokes More Month Jokes

Which is the month in which women talk the least?

February... because it has the least number of days

What's the best time of this month for vampires?

It depends on the girl

Idea Jokes More Idea Jokes

What animal do I respect most?

The octopus. I have no idea what to do with my hands most of the time, and I only have two of them.

Where is it?

ME: I have no idea

Pillow Jokes More Pillow Jokes

How long have we had that pillow?

Wife: No idea Memory foam pillow: Two years, five months and two days

What's worse than finding a horse's head on your pillow?

Realising the horse is alive and well and how much did I drink last night!