Why did the bed spread?

Because it saw the pillow slip.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why did the woman take a load of hay to bed?

To feed her nightmare.

Why did the blond take a ruler to bed?

To see how long she slept.

Spread Jokes More Spread Jokes

What do neckbeards like to spread on their toast?

Marma'lady

Why was the necrophiliac fired from the crematory?

He was caught spreading remains before they were cremated.

Slip Jokes More Slip Jokes

What did the kitten say when it slipped on a banana peel?

Meowch!

Why don't Mexicans have barbeques?

The beans keep slipping through the grill.

Pillow Jokes More Pillow Jokes

What am I a pillow now?

Her: Yep, and pillows don't talk. I think we're bonding.

What do you call it when... You put a pillow on a stool?

You call it a stool softener cheesiest joke I made up