Who stole the sheets from the bed?

Bed buglars.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why would you take a hammer to bed?

So you could hit the sack.

What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog asleep on your bed?

Sleep on the sofa.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What's black and steals your change?

Vending machines.

Why didn't you report your stolen credit card?

Man: The thief was spending less than my wife. Police: Then why are you reporting it now Man: I think now the thief's wife has started using it!

Sheet Jokes More Sheet Jokes

What did the blanket say as it fell of the bed?

Sheet

How can you tell if a ghost is about to faint?

He gets pale as a sheet.