What does IKEA furniture do when it's stolen?

Activates its shelf destruct sequence.

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What did the car say when it's front wheels were stolen?

I don't want to go anywhere. I'm two tired.

How did robbers gain entry to steal from Miley Cyrus?

They came in like a wrecking ball.

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What does IKEA furniture do when it's stolen?

Activates its shelf destruct sequence.

What did the sprinter with diarrhea do during the race?

He activated his bo...