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Sheet Jokes

Why did the ghost stink?

Because it was covered in sheet

I Love Pizza & You

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What do a tuna, a piano, and a sheet of adhesive paper have in common?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna!

Why did the Italian get thrown out of the hotel?

He said "I wanna two sheet onna the bed".

What do you get when you goose a ghost?

A handful of sheet.

Why was the ghost late to the Halloween party?

He had to take a sheet.

Why did the kleptomaniac spend so much time in Bed Bath and Beyond?

He was taking a sheet.

What came first?

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says... "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"

Why does Al Gore hate Oil Spills?

They get all over the sheets.

What happens when you goose a ghost?

You get a hand full of sheet. (Joke from my mom)

What did the Klansman say to the Muslim?

Psst...Who washes your... sheets

Who stole the sheets from the bed?

Bed buglars.

$Your Age Is Only Math$

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Your Age Is Only Math

What did the mother ghost tell the kid ghost when he went out to play?

Don't get your sheets dirty!

How can you tell if a ghost is about to faint?

He gets pale as a sheet.

What do you call a ghost at midnight?

A sheet in the dark!

How did the ghost patch his sheet?

With a pumpkin patch.

What's better than a violin on your bed?

A fiddle between the sheets

What did the blanket say as it fell of the bed?

Sheet

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Where do most Mustangs get into car accidents at?

Leaving Mustang meets.

Why couldn't the whistleblower leave his driveway?

Because he was snowed in.

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What's supposed to be funny, but let's you down?

This joke...

What is the difference between a garbanzo beans and a chickpea?

I would never let a garbanzo bean in my mouth.

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

How do you make soup from a computer?

It's easy just throw in a couple of Boolean cubes.

Why did all the other toys throw RaggedyAnn out of the toy box?

She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me, lie to me!"

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

What did Serena say to Venus before they faced off in the US Open?

In tennis, love means nothing.

Why are ships' portholes round?

So that if they break, water doesn't hit you square in the face.

Halloween Jokes More Halloween Jokes

What's a scary costume for Halloween?

College tuition

What do birds give out on Halloween?

Tweets.

Kleptomaniac Jokes More Kleptomaniac Jokes

Why can't you use sarcasm with a kleptomaniac?

Because they take things literally.

Why can't you tell puns to a kleptomaniac?

Because they take everything literally (p.s. you can steal this joke if you want)

Shut Jokes More Shut Jokes

How do you get a guitar player to shut up?

Put sheet music in front of him

Why was Jesus I such good shape?

Crossfit. Why did the Romans hate Jesus so much? He wouldn't shut up about crossfit.

Rise Jokes More Rise Jokes

What happened to the Guns 'n Roses tour bus when it got a flat tire and had to be jacked up?

Its axle rose.

What do you call a rising poll?

Upvote