What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?

Aw sheet! One of my favorite, cheesiest jokes of all time. Thought it would be a good first post to Reddit!

This joke may have profanity.

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Why did the girl put her bed in the fireplace?

Because she wanted to sleep like a log.

How do you know when you are in bed with a witch?

She has a big "W" embroidered on her pyjamas!

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Why did the bicycle fall over?

Because it was too tired.

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a seven year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out the window. EDIT: Damn it he was four

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Who's there! Bones! Bones who?

Bones upon a time...!

What is the difference between a good joke and a bad joke?

Timing

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What sound will reddit make when it blows up?

Nothing, it's just a website.

What does Uncle Vernon from Harry Potter not do on Reddit?

Post on Sundays.

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How many times do I have to tell you this Mom?

I have thousands of fans who need to know my thoughts. So, no I can't take out the garbage.

What is mitosis?

Those are the things on the ends of my feetsis. Thought of this during my last bio exam.

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What does a blanket say to the other after a game of chess?

Well plaid.

How did the dog make anti-freeze?

He stole her blanket.

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