Why did the dog sleep so poorly?

By mistake he plugged his electric blanket into the toaster and kept popping out of bed all night!

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why is Gandalf so good in bed?

Because a wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.

Why do I always seem to start my day backwards?

I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

Why do dogs chase their tails?

They want to make ends meet.

What happens if you play a country song backward?

You get your house back, your dog back, your wife back, and you sober up.

Pop Jokes More Pop Jokes

How do you process a queue of table delete requests for an asynchronous database?

Pop, Lock & Drop It

How to make your ears pop?

Try some sparkly earrings.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you get if you mix up together an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac?

A guy who is up all night wondering if there is a dog.

What did Abe Lincoln say after a night of drinking?

I set WHO free?

Mistake Jokes More Mistake Jokes

Why didn't the recently single goose lose her job when she made a mistake?

Because she had one heck of an ex-goose

How many beers did you have while I was gone?

Me: Two. 4-year-old: It was nine. Teaching her to count was a mistake.

Plug Jokes More Plug Jokes

How many Comcast customer service agents does it take to change a lightbulb?

Is the lightbulb plugged in sir?

How do you plug a plow into a car stereo?

Through the ox input.

Toaster Jokes More Toaster Jokes

Why did the dog sleep so poorly?

By mistake he plugged his electric blanket into the toaster and kept popping out of bed all night!

What's the difference between a whale and a toaster?

You didn't pop out of a toaster.

Electric Blanket Jokes More Electric Blanket Jokes

Why did the dog sleep so poorly?

By mistake he plugged his electric blanket into the toaster and kept popping out of bed all night!

What happens if you plug your electric blanket into the toaster?

You pop up all night.