Mistake Jokes

What city has the biggest amount of mistakes per capita?

Uppsala

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What do you get when you cross my mom with my dad?

I don't know, but my Dad said it was a mistake.

Why was the bumble bee wearing a yamaka?

Because he didn't want to be mistaken for a WASP

Who did Chris Brown mistook Rihanna for?

Britney Spears

What mistake did the chronometer make while it was getting along well with the digital watch?

It asked the digital watch for its hand in marriage.

What's your biggest weakness?

Interviewee: "I never learn from my mistakes" Interviewer: "Oh, why's that " Interviewee: "I never make any"

What did the Japanese General say to his kamikaze trainee?

Despite what everyone tells you, you'll never learn from your mistakes.

What do you call it when your child teaches you something they are interested in?

Learning from your mistakes.

How can you make so many mistakes in just one day?

Pupil: I get up early!

Why are you wearing masks?

There are no other giant, mutated turtles. No one's gonna mistake a different turtle for you.

How many beers did you have while I was gone?

Me: Two. 4-year-old: It was nine. Teaching her to count was a mistake.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Why was the slab of marble upset?

He was tired of everyone mistaking him for granite.

What does a baker say when he/she makes a mistake?

Dough!

Why didn't the Blonic Pig get a TV series of his own?

He made the mistake of going to a barbecue with the Bionic Man and the Blonic Woman.

What would Confucius say about errors made in elevators?

He who makes a mistake in an elevator is wrong on many levels.

How many tax auditors does it take to find a $1.00 mistake in an expense report?

Three. One to find the mistake and two to discuss the significance of it.

What do you call a steak that is cooked wrong?

A mistake

Why is ur wife shouting at you?

Friend: she told me to upload her photo in FB, I uploaded in OLX... Mistakes do happen

Why didn't the recently single goose lose her job when she made a mistake?

Because she had one heck of an ex-goose

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Post Jokes More Post Jokes

What do women and the stock market have in common?

If you don't pull out in time, it will cost you a lot of money. My boss said he made this up on the spot yesterday. Never heard it before so I figured I'd post it.

How do you keep a bunch of redditors in suspense?

I'll post the punchline later.

Big Weakness Jokes More Big Weakness Jokes

What's your biggest weakness?

Interviewee: "I never learn from my mistakes" Interviewer: "Oh, why's that " Interviewee: "I never make any"

What is your biggest weakness?

Sometimes I'm too succinct" Can you give an example "Yes"

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why did the pregnant woman love to tell jokes?

Because she had a pun in the oven!

What did one amorous flea say to the other?

I love you aw-flea.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many out of date redditers does it take to change a light bulb?

OVER 9000

How many friendzoned guys does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they'll just keep complimenting it and get mad when it doesn't want to screw.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you call a cat that claims it's a lion crossed with a cougar?

A liar.

What "bus" crossed the ocean?

Columbus.

Learn Jokes More Learn Jokes

Where did Buzz feed learn to click bait so well from?

Me

Why does it take so long for pirates to learn the alphabet?

Because they can spend years at sea.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

When ur at chipotle n u ask for guac and they say "its extra is that ok?

If u say its not ok they give it to u for free

What did the Headless Horseman ask his colleague at Bad Guys Inc.?

What do I have to do to get ahead around here?

Jump Jokes More Jump Jokes

Why wouldn't the skeleton jump off the cliff?

Because it had no guts.

Why does Mexico do so poorly in the Olympics?

Because everybody who can run, jump, or swim is already in America.