Mistake Jokes

What city has the biggest amount of mistakes per capita?

Uppsala

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What do you get when you cross my mom with my dad?

I don't know, but my Dad said it was a mistake.

What does a muslim say when he makes a mistake?

Allahu Mybad

Why was the bumble bee wearing a yamaka?

Because he didn't want to be mistaken for a WASP

Who did Chris Brown mistook Rihanna for?

Britney Spears

How many SRSers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They wait for the electrician to make a mistake and yell at them for doing it wrong.

What mistake did the chronometer make while it was getting along well with the digital watch?

It asked the digital watch for its hand in marriage.

What is the name of the Asian pointing out everyones mistakes?

Xu wong

What's your biggest weakness?

Interviewee: "I never learn from my mistakes" Interviewer: "Oh, why's that " Interviewee: "I never make any"

What did the Japanese General say to his kamikaze trainee?

Despite what everyone tells you, you'll never learn from your mistakes.

What do you call it when a pickle makes a mistake?

A dill d'oh

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Why did you leave your last job?

I had a typo in a tweet. "Mistakes happen!" -I worked for Yahoo Finance. "Thanks for coming in. Bye"

What do you call it when your child teaches you something they are interested in?

Learning from your mistakes.

How can you make so many mistakes in just one day?

Pupil: I get up early!

Why are you wearing masks?

There are no other giant, mutated turtles. No one's gonna mistake a different turtle for you.

How many beers did you have while I was gone?

Me: Two. 4-year-old: It was nine. Teaching her to count was a mistake.

Why was the slab of marble upset?

He was tired of everyone mistaking him for granite.

What does a baker say when he/she makes a mistake?

Dough!

Why didn't the Blonic Pig get a TV series of his own?

He made the mistake of going to a barbecue with the Bionic Man and the Blonic Woman.

What would Confucius say about errors made in elevators?

He who makes a mistake in an elevator is wrong on many levels.

How many tax auditors does it take to find a $1.00 mistake in an expense report?

Three. One to find the mistake and two to discuss the significance of it.

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What do you call a steak that is cooked wrong?

A mistake

Why does Bob Ross not use a condom?

Because he doesn't make mistakes, only happy little accidents.

Why is ur wife shouting at you?

Friend: she told me to upload her photo in FB, I uploaded in OLX... Mistakes do happen

Why didn't the recently single goose lose her job when she made a mistake?

Because she had one heck of an ex-goose

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Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What would Arnold Schwarzenegger say if you asked him his favorite holiday?

You have to love Easter, baby." (OC)

How do you tell the difference between a factory worker, and a chemist?

Ask them to pronounce 'unionized'

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

Why can't Australians play chess?

They keep saying check, mate.

How do you spot a bad boss your first day on the job?

Check his/her pulse. (bitter at the workplace)

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

Why does the US love Israel so much?

Because is a raeli good country

Why is Oliver North like Kraang?

They both love using the shredder.

Muslim Jokes More Muslim Jokes

What does a Muslim magician say before his trick?

Araba-cadabra

Where do Muslim hipsters shop for clothes?

Turban Outfitters!

Jump Jokes More Jump Jokes

Why wouldn't the skeleton jump off the cliff?

Because it had no guts.

What did John Wilkes Boothe's stage partner wish him on the day of that tragic night?

Break a leg. So he jumped off the balcony... Sorry that I am not funny.

Hyper Drive Jokes More Hyper Drive Jokes

What drives the hype train?

The hyper drive.

What do you call attempting to jump to light speed before checking the Hyper Drive first?

A Wookie mistake!

City Jokes More City Jokes

What do a gallon of milk and the city of Carthage have in common?

Ideally you only have to sack them once, but we should probably sack them again for good measure.

What city has the biggest amount of mistakes per capita?

Uppsala

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why can the Cornish always lend a hand?

They probably have a spare.

Why do you hold your hand flat above your eyes when you look into the distance?

Because when you would cover your eyes with your hand, you wouldn't see sh*t. I'm lame.