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How many beers did you have while I was gone?

Me: Two. 4-year-old: It was nine. Teaching her to count was a mistake.

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Count Jokes More Count Jokes

What is WRONG with you?

Me: *slowly counting on fingers* let's see... ok... carry the 1... um... That would be everything

Why do pirates love football so much?

Cus they love to count YAAAARds.

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

What's a man's idea of a balanced diet?

Beer in each hand!

What beer does Sean Connery drink?

Grols

Mistake Jokes More Mistake Jokes

How can you make so many mistakes in just one day?

Pupil: I get up early!

How many tax auditors does it take to find a $1.00 mistake in an expense report?

Three. One to find the mistake and two to discuss the significance of it.

Teach Jokes More Teach Jokes

Why did the cyclops quit teaching?

He had only one pupil.

What is the first thing they teach you at Gardening school?

WATERRR THOOOOOSSSSSEEEEE!!!!

4 Year Old Jokes More 4 Year Old Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year old?

Eric Clapton wouldn't drop a bag of cocaine out a window

What was that?

4-year-old: Nothing. Me: 4: Me: OK. Parenting is easier than it looks.