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How many beers did you have while I was gone?

Me: Two. 4-year-old: It was nine. Teaching her to count was a mistake.

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Count Jokes More Count Jokes

How do farmers count their cattle?

With a culator

What's the difference between democracy and feudalism?

Q: What's the difference between democracy and feudalism A: In democracy, your vote counts. In feudalism, your Count votes.

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

How do People in New Orleans have their beer?

Watered Down

How many men does it take to open a can of beer?

None. She should have opened it as she brought it to you.

Mistake Jokes More Mistake Jokes

How can you make so many mistakes in just one day?

Pupil: I get up early!

Why was the bumble bee wearing a yamaka?

Because he didn't want to be mistaken for a WASP

Teach Jokes More Teach Jokes

Why did the hippy teach the lumberjack calculus?

So he'd use natural logs!

How does an Alcoholic teach the ABC's to their children?

Backwards.

4 Year Old Jokes More 4 Year Old Jokes

What's the first step of fire safety?

4-year-old: Stay away from dragons. Me: 4: Me: Well, obviously.

What's the difference between a 4 year old boy and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldn't let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.