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How many beers did you have while I was gone?

Me: Two. 4-year-old: It was nine. Teaching her to count was a mistake.

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Count Jokes More Count Jokes

How many times did I tell you to make your bed?

Jane: I can't answer. I didn't know I was supposed to keep count!

How will the Duggar's stay on TV and make money?

By moving the show to a "true crime" channel and calling it "18 Victims and Counting".

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

Why do they never serve a beer at math party?

Because you can't drink and derive

Why do rabbits prefer IPA's over other kinds of beers?

Because they use extra hops

Mistake Jokes More Mistake Jokes

Why was the bumble bee wearing a yamaka?

Because he didn't want to be mistaken for a WASP

What does a baker say when he/she makes a mistake?

Dough!

Teach Jokes More Teach Jokes

How did Zarathustra introduce his peanut-based health drink?

I teach you the goober quench!

Why didn't Anna and Elsa's parents teach them the alphabet?

Because they got lost at C.

4 Year Old Jokes More 4 Year Old Jokes

What does that tell you?

4-year-old: I won.

What was that?

4-year-old: Nothing. Me: 4: Me: OK. Parenting is easier than it looks.