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How many beers did you have while I was gone?

Me: Two. 4-year-old: It was nine. Teaching her to count was a mistake.

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Count Jokes More Count Jokes

Why is it so hard to keep track of counting in Afghanistan?

Because of the Taliban (say it out loud)

How many beers is that for you today, dear?

Me: Like 4 maybe. 5 tops. Wife: I counted 19. Me: Well I rounded down.

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

What is the difference between my ex-girlfriend and a beer?

One is pale, bitter and starts off with lots of head and the other one is a beer.

Why should you always take at least two Baptists fishing?

Because if you take one, he'll drink all your beer

Mistake Jokes More Mistake Jokes

Why did the dog sleep so poorly?

By mistake he plugged his electric blanket into the toaster and kept popping out of bed all night!

What would Confucius say about errors made in elevators?

He who makes a mistake in an elevator is wrong on many levels.

Teach Jokes More Teach Jokes

Why did the cyclops quit teaching?

He had only one pupil.

Who invented schools and teaching?

Ed. U. Cation!

4 Year Old Jokes More 4 Year Old Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4-year old child?

Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out a 53rd-story window!

What's the first step of fire safety?

4-year-old: Stay away from dragons. Me: 4: Me: Well, obviously.