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What did Shakespeare say when his dog messed up the carpet?

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"*

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What dog is always tired in London?

An English sleep dog.

What do you call a insomniac dyslexic agnostic?

A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog!

Damn Jokes More Damn Jokes

How many house flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just the standard two, but I'll be damned if I know how they got in there.

What did Shakespeare say when his dog messed up the carpet?

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"*

Mess Jokes More Mess Jokes

What do you call a lawyer up to his neck in cement?

Not enough cement EDIT: Okay thanks for pointing out that I messed up the wording but the joke is supposed to be the funny part

What does the lord say when the intern messes up?

God demi

Carpet Jokes More Carpet Jokes

Where does the Persian air force keep its aircraft?

The Carpet store

Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet?

He wanted to see the floor show!

Shakespeare Jokes More Shakespeare Jokes

What do you call a nervous javelin thrower?

Shakespeare

Why is Shakespeare bad at hunting?

Because he can't aim steadily