Why did the policeman stay in bed today?

He was undercover *!*

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What's the longest you've stayed in bed?

I usually sleep ON the bed. #DadJoke

How do you know if there is an elephant in bed with you?

He has a big E on his pajamas.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer?

Peace and carrots... Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle...

What does a television have in common with a rabbit?

His ears! Yes, this is a real joke I got from a Laffy Taffy wrapper today, not 30 years ago. I did not laugh.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

How does a bull stay warm on a bitterly cold day in January?

He goes into the barn and slips into a warm Jersey.

Why Mark?

I never take drugs. - I say stay away!! Or the drugs will fall from the table!!

Policeman Jokes More Policeman Jokes

How is Daniel Craig a policeman?

He is in Spectre (Inspector)

What do you call a policeman with blonde hair?

A fair cop!