Why did the policeman stay in bed today?

He was undercover *!*

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why did the girl put her bed in the fireplace?

Because she wanted to sleep like a log.

What's better than a violin on your bed?

A fiddle between the sheets

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What does a television have in common with a rabbit?

His ears! Yes, this is a real joke I got from a Laffy Taffy wrapper today, not 30 years ago. I did not laugh.

Why is Kim Jong Un like todays music?

They both ain't got the same Seoul.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What do you call a stay at home dad?

Unemployed.

What do you get when you cross a philosopher, an insomniac and a dyslexic?

A guy who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog. Infinite Jest, by DFW

Policeman Jokes More Policeman Jokes

What did you say to the policeman who spent eight hours on the Internet?

Oh give it arrest.

Why did the policeman shoot the empty LED?

It was a black one.