Why did the policeman stay in bed today?

He was undercover *!*

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why do you say that?

Because she always puts me to bed when I'm wide awake and gets me up when I'm sleepy!

Why did the blond take a ruler to bed?

To see how long she slept.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How bad is the economy?

Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Today we have no cash, no hope and no jobs.

What do you call electricity still flowing today?

Current.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What do little green men do to stay in shape?

They do Yoda.

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

Policeman Jokes More Policeman Jokes

What did the policeman say to his stomach?

Your under a vest

What did you say to the policeman who spent eight hours on the Internet?

Oh give it arrest.