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What did Jonathan Ross say after breaking in to a large kitchen to steal some utensils?

It was worth the whisk

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Break Jokes More Break Jokes

How does a tractor break up with its boyfriend?

With a John Deere letter.

When can't a pencil write out a check?

When it's broke.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What is the difference between J. Winston and a cat?

One ruins girls clothes and steals crab legs, the other one is also losing the Rose Bowl.

Why are ghosts banned from the liquor store?

They would steal all the boos.

Utensil Jokes More Utensil Jokes

What did the writing utensil take for his high sugar level?

Pencil-in.

What is Shakespeare's favourite writing utensil?

I don't know, but it was either 2B or not 2B.