What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What do you get when you mix a Dog and a Rhino?

How would Rhino?

What's up dog?

Dad: Just chilling homie, what's up with you!

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

How many times did I tell you to make your bed?

Jane: I can't answer. I didn't know I was supposed to keep count!

What time is it when a clock strikes thirteen?

Time to get it fixed.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What do Maroon 5 and Jack Reacher have in common?

They both spend all their money on payphones.

How much did the pirate spend on his earings?

A buck an ear.

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

What always stays hot in the refrigerator?

Horseradish

Why did the bullet stay home?

Because it got fired!

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

How fast can Klingon's run?

About Warf speed. My mom made this joke up last night at a bbq party. She likes to think she is funnier on holidays. Thanks, Mom.

What does Stalin do on a night out?

Paints the town red

Wonder Jokes More Wonder Jokes

What do you tell a man with two black eyes?

Nothing, he's been told twice already. (And be cool, if you get the reference keep quiet and let em wonder.)

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do at night?

He stays up wondering if there really is a dog.