What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

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What do you get when you play a country song backwards?

Your wife back, your dog back, your house back...

What do all dogs get with their phones?

Collar ID

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What does ever horse and rider do at the same time?

Grow old!

What time does Sean Connery attend the Wimbeldon?

Tenish.

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Why do traffic lights never go swimming?

Because they spend too much time changing.

How much did Adidas spend in advertising at the World Cup this year?

At least a brazillion dollars...

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Why did the spy stay in bed?

To stay under cover.

How do churches stay so strong?

They pray on the weak.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

Whats the German version of silent night?

Kristall nacht

Why did Elton John's trucking company only work weekends?

Because Saturday nights alright for freighting.

Wonder Jokes More Wonder Jokes

What do you call a insomniac dyslexic agnostic?

A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog!

What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?

Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.