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How do philosophers shave off their beards?

Occam's razor

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What do you call shaving a crazy sheep?

Shear madness.

Why did Patrick Stewart shave his head?

So he could badly go where no man has gone before.

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What do you call a man without a beard?

A woman.

What did one leg say to the other?

Shorty's growin a beard.

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What is the question most frequently asked by a philosopher?

Would you like ketchup with your chips

What do you call a philosopher that kind of wants to play soccer?

Socrates

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Why do conspiracy theorists have such long beards?

Because they don't know how to use Occam's razor

What do logicians use to shave?

Occam's razor

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How do philosophers shave off their beards?

Occam's razor

What do logicians use to shave?

Occam's razor