Beard Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Who can shave 25 times in one day, and still have a beard?

A barber!

What do you call a man without a beard?

A woman.

How do philosophers shave off their beards?

Occam's razor

Why don't girls have beards?

It's in their "jeans"

Why does Sean Connery have no money and a beard?

Because he's no good at shaving.

What do you call a ceramicist with a beard?

A Harry Potter

Why do you need 200 condoms?

Me: I have a beard and an accent. *winks* *Spends night making balloon animals

What's the difference between extremist and /r/thedonald?

At least one group can grow a beard.

Who can shave 25 times a day and still have a beard?

A barber.

Who can shave 30 times a day and still have a beard?

A barber.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

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Police Jokes More Police Jokes

What do the Police and Pokemon have in common?

They gotta catch 'Jamal

What do you call a midget fortune teller running from the police?

A small medium at large.

Fedora Jokes More Fedora Jokes

Why do waitresses love serving men in fedoras?

If you're nice to them, their tipping intensifies.

Why was the guy wearing the fedora upset?

Because you didn't ask him what band he's in.

Occam Jokes More Occam Jokes

What do logicians use to shave?

Occam's razor

How do philosophers shave off their beards?

Occam's razor

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

What feels good in the west but feels cotton in the East?

Happi-ness

How did Jesus feel after the last supper?

A bit cross.

M'laysia Jokes More M'laysia Jokes

What's a neckbeard's favorite Asian country?

M'Laysia

What's a neckbeard's favourite country?

M'laysia

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when you wear radioactive Russian underpants?

Cher nob'll fall out.

What happens after it rains in gotham city?

A waynebow.

25 Jokes More 25 Jokes

Why is it called the 3/5 compromise?

Because it is only 2/5 solution.

Why do so many math majors confuse Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 is Dec 25

Hairy Potter Jokes More Hairy Potter Jokes

What do you call a hirsute ceramicist?

Hairy Potter

What do you call a bearded gardener?

Hairy Potter