Beard Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

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Who can shave 25 times in one day, and still have a beard?

A barber!

What do you call a man without a beard?

A woman.

How do philosophers shave off their beards?

Occam's razor

Why don't girls have beards?

It's in their "jeans"

Why does Sean Connery have no money and a beard?

Because he's no good at shaving.

What do you call a ceramicist with a beard?

A Harry Potter

Who can shave 25 times a day and still have a beard?

A barber.

Who can shave 30 times a day and still have a beard?

A barber.

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Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What kind of jeans does Mario wear?

Denim denim denim.(http://youtu.be/rdnTvgK2o5I) shamelessly stolen from tumblr

What clothing designer do vampires prefer to wear?

Alexander Fang

25 Jokes More 25 Jokes

What can a monster do that you can't do?

Count up to 25 on his fingers.

What do you call the alphabet with only 25 letters?

Noe(L)...no "L"

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do you yell when a woman falls of a boat?

Full speed ahead

Why is the men's room always located to the left?

Because women are always right.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why should you never let a non-metal drive a train?

Because they're poor conductors! (I know they're called Engineers but cut me some slack, I thought of this in the 9th grade.)

What will the results of the next election be?

No one knows! The results were stolen from the Politburo just last night!

Occam Jokes More Occam Jokes

Why do conspiracy theorists have such long beards?

Because they don't know how to use Occam's razor

What do logicians use to shave?

Occam's razor

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What did Tony Abbott do when he heard Denmark had surplus wind power?

Cut funding for wind power in Australia

What the best way to cut down a tree?

A Suhhh Dude

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What is it like, to be standing at the foot of an empty grave, not knowing who will one day be in it?

Unbereavable.

Who can shave 25 times in one day, and still have a beard?

A barber!

Oc Jokes More Oc Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

How do you get into a Native American restaurant?

OC You make a reservation