Oc Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

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What's a redditors worst fear?

Whats reddits favorite tv show?

The OC.

What's a redditor who makes pirate jokes' favorite letters?

It could be R and the C, but they definitely aren't OC.

How bad is it when a nations power crisis can only be solved by a couple of hydroelectric plants?

Two dam bad! (OC!)

What did Asian Jesus say before he was crucified?

OC) YORO (You only resurrect once)

Why did the English majors switch to Spanish?

OC) Too many persuasive esses.

What do you call ten German men standing abreast, walking backward?

OC A receeding Herr line.

How do you get into a Native American restaurant?

OC You make a reservation

What kind of jacket would Michael J. Fox wear if he was black?

OC A parka, son.

What does Arnold Schwarzenegger say when Christmas is over?

OC (please use your Ahnold voice) Hasta la vista, Baby....Jesus.

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Which type of juice has the most mood swings?

Caprice Sun. OC

Why did Hannibal invade Rome?

OC Well it was kinda hard to avoid, what will all roads leading there and what not.

How many redditors it takes to change a lightbulb?

OC It only takes 1. But another 999 to repost this 100% original joke. I made this.

What do you put in an actor's drink... OC to raise the level of anticipation at the Oscars?

Expectorant(/spoiler)

What would Arnold Schwarzenegger say if you asked him his favorite holiday?

You have to love Easter, baby." (OC)

How do fast food restaurants make so much money?

OC "They flip burgers for profit!" Just thought of this at a baseball game today, kinda quirky and simple!

How do you keep your dog young for longer?

Terrible OC Keep them stored in some quality... pupperware!

Why was the woman so attached to her Dr. Scholl's gel insert?

OC It was her sole comfort.

What does a cannibal bring to a barbecue?

OC) Brats!

What do you call a beach with crooked waves?

OC A Scoli-ocean! (Came up with that recently, hope it tickles your funny bone)

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What is the Kingsman policy on workplace relationships?

OC) Brogues before Hos

Why are jerks nice sometimes?

Standard deviation of the mean (OC, as far as I know)

What did the ascetic say when he broke his fast?

OC I think I'll go on a diet!

Why did the lawyer with a torn ACL still win the marathon?

OC) Because he had the power of a torn knee

What do you call a dairy cow who doesn't produce any milk?

OC) An utter disappointment

How did the urologist ruin his Christmas?

OC He looked inside Santa's sack.

Where do salt lovers go to pray?

OC The taberNaCl. (Sorry..) (X-posted to dad jokes.)

Who was Mr Rogers' weight lifting coach?

Arnold Schwarzeneighbor (OC)

How do you know this is OC?

Its not on the front page

How does Sherlock Holmes go to the bathroom?

OC By process of elimination.

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Why was the fruit really upset he had to get married in a big church?

Oc Because he cantaloupe.

What literary genre is Frozen?

Bildungsnowman. (OC)

What did the Navy battleship captain say to his first mate during a skirmish?

OC I think I'm feeling C6

How do you tell if you're a real gangster?

Take a blud test OC

What's the difference between a fish and an elephant?

OC) You really can't tell the difference between a fish and an elephant

Why is Karl Marx credited in so many movies?

OC) Because he wrote the Rom-Communist Manifesto.

What did Bruce Willis find in the freezer at the morgue?

OC Icy dead people!

Why doesn't Superman need a boss?

OC) He already has supervision.

What did the Japanese buck say to the doe he was courting?

OC I don't know how to put this but...I'm kind of a big deer.

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Redditor Jokes More Redditor Jokes

How can you tell if a Redditor is an extrovert?

During any conversation he's looking at YOUR shoes.

How many redditors does it take to make a good joke?

Three. One to post it, the second to post a better punchline in the comments, and the third to complain that it's a repost.

Decline Jokes More Decline Jokes

Why was the ginger declined when he tried to sell his soul to the devil?

Insufficient funds.

Why did Steve Jobs decline chemotherapy?

Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Clau Jokes More Clau Jokes

What is Santa saying to Mrs. Claus right now?

I told you it would rain, dear.

Why is Mrs. Claus disappointed?

Because Santa came early!

R Jokes More R Jokes

What is the radio operator's favourite romantic story?

R and J

Why couldn't R get to P?

He had to wait in a Q!

Native American Jokes More Native American Jokes

What do you get when you cross a Native American with phosphorylation?

ATP

What did the Native American say when his dog fell of the cliff?

Dog gone!

Switch Jokes More Switch Jokes

How many mods does it take to switch a light bulb?

Deleted

Why did Italy cross the road?

To switch sides

Mrs. Claus Jokes More Mrs. Claus Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

Why is Mrs. Claus disappointed?

Because Santa came early!

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

What did the black man get for his son on Christmas?

Your bike.

Why did the orange go to the doctor?

Because she wasn't peeling very well... All credit to my 8 yo son who suggested I post it here