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What do Jimmy Saville's victims and Aston Villa fans have in common?

They're still talking about what happened in 1982.

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What happened when Justin Bieber went to Michael Jackson's house?

Nothing, Michael liked boys.

What happened to the religious idol when it was put up at auction?

It was sold to the highest Buddha.

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Why do wallets make so much noise?

Because money talks.

Why do people always talk in absolutes?

I would never do that. It's the worst.

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What do Jimmy Saville's victims and Aston Villa fans have in common?

They're still talking about what happened in 1982.