Why do you need 200 condoms?

Me: I have a beard and an accent. *winks* *Spends night making balloon animals

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

When do you REALLY know you need to break up with you GF?

When she starts winning arguments with you inner-voice.

What do you need to fix it?

Asparagus. (A spare, I guess)

Beard Jokes More Beard Jokes

Why don't girls have beards?

It's in their "jeans"

When the hell did you grow a beard?

Me: This morning. On the way here. Just felt like it was time.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What do you get when you cross an agnostic, an insomniac, and a dyslexic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.

What do you call that which barks during the day and floats during the night?

Your grandma's jaws

Balloon Animal Jokes More Balloon Animal Jokes

Why couldn't the clown make balloon animals for the children?

With inflation raising the cost he couldn't afford it.

What grows when you squeeze it, explodes if you rub it too hard, and children love it?

A balloon animal!

Accent Jokes More Accent Jokes

Why do you need 200 condoms?

Me: I have a beard and an accent. *winks* *Spends night making balloon animals

Why does Gru speak with an accent?

Because he's Arminion.

200 Jokes More 200 Jokes

How many applicants does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one but 200 applied for the job.

Whats the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?

I wouldn't pay 200 to have a lentil on in my mouth

Wink Jokes More Wink Jokes

Whatsapp?

He winked at me, I should send him a dragon head." "No babe, this calls for a full dragon."

How do government employees wink when they're at work?

They briefly open one eye.