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When the hell did you grow a beard?

Me: This morning. On the way here. Just felt like it was time.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

How does a witch tell time?

With a witchwatch.

What do a frozen beer, a burnt pizza, and a pregnant girl have in common?

Failure to pull out in time

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How did the handyman feel after going to the bar?

He was hammered.

How many gnomes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just the two, really. Or as many as will fit, if theyre feeling frisky.

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

What's the best part of growing up in Compton?

No bad dad jokes.

How much room is needed for fungi to grow?

As mushroom as possible

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

Where did the meteorologist stop for a drink on the way home from a long day in the studio?

The nearest ISOBAR!!

What causes German Earthquakes?

Teutonic Plates. I'm sorry I'll find my own way out

Beard Jokes More Beard Jokes

How do philosophers shave off their beards?

Occam's razor

Who can shave 25 times a day and still have a beard?

A barber.

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

What does a blonde do first thing in the morning?

She goes home

What time do you get up in the morning?

About an hour and a half after I arrived at school