When the hell did you grow a beard?

Me: This morning. On the way here. Just felt like it was time.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What do you call it when a German hits you with a loaf of bread?

Gluten Tag And when a hippie hits you with a loaf of bread Flour power And when a lot of people do it at the same time a rye-ot

What's up with that horse?

Sees a giraffe for the first time Okay, what the hell is going on today

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

What do you call that feeling when the bus finally arrives?

A peasantfeeling

What do you get when you have barbie dolls standing in a line?

A barbie queue (BBQ)! Also, I made a quick sketch on my iPad. I found the genesis to this joke as a text note in my Evernote this morning, after what seemed like a night of free flow beers. Feel free to downvote me to oblivion.

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

What kind of flower grows on your face?

Tulips.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Me: Let's not rush things, OK

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

How do you get an elephant on a train?

You take the "S" out of sub, and the "F" out of way. Say it out loud

How do you take the letter "F" out of the word "WAY"?

There is no F in way.

Beard Jokes More Beard Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

Why does Sean Connery have no money and a beard?

Because he's no good at shaving.

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

What do you call a corn farmer who wakes up one morning to find that complex branching pathways have been cut into his field?

Amaized.

Why didn't you stop when I shouted at you back there?

Motorist: I thought you were saying "Good morning Mr. Mayor." Cop: Right. I wanted to warn you about going too fast through the next town.