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When the hell did you grow a beard?

Me: This morning. On the way here. Just felt like it was time.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What did one calculator say to the other when it was time for it to leave?

Aight I'll calcu-lata

What were the martyr's last words?

I believe in peace in our time

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Why did the paedophilic bestialist not answer his name?

Because he was feeling a little horse.

What does disappointment feel like?

Deleted

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

How do you know if someone grew up in New York City?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Me: Let's not rush things, OK

Way Jokes More Way Jokes

How does an elephant get out of a small car?

The same way that he got in!

What did Shakespeare say when asked how his wife keeps things interesting?

Anne hath a way.

Beard Jokes More Beard Jokes

Why does Sean Connery have no money and a beard?

Because he's no good at shaving.

Who can shave 25 times a day and still have a beard?

A barber.

Morning Jokes More Morning Jokes

What did the fire say the morning of his birthday?

I'm stoked!

What's the difference between North Korea amd South Korea?

North Koreans have no Seoul. Thought of this very early in the morning waiting to board a plane.