Couple Jokes

What did the stork say to the couple?

Sorry mates Im out of babes (its a linguistic joke)

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What did Sean Connery say to a couple of lobsters he saw take up an extra parking space?

You're two shellfish.

What's your favourite animal joke?

I give tours at a zoo. Each tour goes for a couple of hours so it is good to engage the guests and make the tour a bit more fun. What is your favourite animal joke I can use at work?

What do they do with Tickle-Me-Elmo's before he leaves the factory?

Give him a couple of test-tickles.

How do you make soup from a computer?

It's easy just throw in a couple of Boolean cubes.

How can a room full of couples be empty?

There isn't a single person left!

How bad is it when a nations power crisis can only be solved by a couple of hydroelectric plants?

Two dam bad! (OC!)

What do you call a couple of ones and zeros orbiting around each other?

Binary stars.

When I was a little boy I asked my mum 'how many is a couple?

She replied 'oh, two or three' Now I know why her marriage didn't last long

What couple rode a horse up a hill to fetch a pail of water?

Jockey and Jill!

Why did the couple bring a melon to their honeymoon?

Because they cantaloupe...

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Why don't some couples go to the gym?

Because some relationships don't work out.

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Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What do you call a bus driver who helps old people and parents with children on and off the bus?

A stand up driver.

What do you call a robot that doesn't support his children?

Nuts and bolts

Thought Jokes More Thought Jokes

What are your thoughts on new soup technology?

I say Progresso at any cost.

What does a Jedi say after a tragic loss of life?

May my thoughts be with them.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

Why didn't the dog want to play football?

It was a boxer!

How did the violinist learn to play violin?

He just started fiddling with it.

Homeless Jokes More Homeless Jokes

What did the homeless got for Christmas?

Hypothermia.

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Why did the banker leave his job?

He lost interest

What is Apple's CEO's favourite TV show?

Lost

European Jokes More European Jokes

What do you say to an Italian who is urinating on the sidewalk?

European!

What are you if you aren't European?

Eurapoopin. -my daughter

Spark Jokes More Spark Jokes

How cute does someone have to be for sparks to fly?

Electro

How cute does one have to be to make sparks fly?

Electro cute

Sell Jokes More Sell Jokes

What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brown?

Artificial intelligence What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair red Selling her soul for intelligence

What part of America can't sell full sized soft drinks?

Minnesota.