Couple Jokes

What did the stork say to the couple?

Sorry mates Im out of babes (its a linguistic joke)

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What did Sean Connery say to a couple of lobsters he saw take up an extra parking space?

You're two shellfish.

What do you call couples that practice pulling out as a method of contraception?

Parents.

How do you make soup from a computer?

It's easy just throw in a couple of Boolean cubes.

How can a room full of couples be empty?

There isn't a single person left!

How bad is it when a nations power crisis can only be solved by a couple of hydroelectric plants?

Two dam bad! (OC!)

What do you call a couple of ones and zeros orbiting around each other?

Binary stars.

When I was a little boy I asked my mum 'how many is a couple?

She replied 'oh, two or three' Now I know why her marriage didn't last long

What couple rode a horse up a hill to fetch a pail of water?

Jockey and Jill!

Why did the couple bring a melon to their honeymoon?

Because they cantaloupe...

How can you tell if a girl is ticklish?

Give her a couple of test tickles...

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Why don't some couples go to the gym?

Because some relationships don't work out.

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Sorry Mate Jokes More Sorry Mate Jokes

What do you say when your opponent resigns after you take their queen?

Sorry mate.

What did the stork say to the couple?

Sorry mates Im out of babes (its a linguistic joke)

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

How did Christopher Columbus find India?

He used Apple Maps.

Why did Pete Carroll find Marshawn Lynch in a tree?

I'm just here so I don't get find.

Couple Day Jokes More Couple Day Jokes

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

Why do Chinese tourists get disappointed when they visit America?

Because when they buy souvenirs they find out they were made in China.

What do you call a Chinese cameraman?

Phil Ming

Kiss Jokes More Kiss Jokes

What do you get when you kiss a bird?

Chirpies. It's a Canarial Disease. It's Untweetable!

Why are Pentacostals so good at kissing?

They have the gift of tongues...

Relate Jokes More Relate Jokes

What insect is the Wood Ant related to?

The Should Ant and the Could Ant.

How are bears related to cooking?

The pan... duh

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why did the blonde throw tic-tacs in her spaghetti?

The recipe told her to mints her garlic.

How many times does a blonde laugh at a joke?

Three times - Once when you tell it, once when you explain it, and once when she gets it.

Wong Jokes More Wong Jokes

Why doesn't China have a phone directory?

Because there are so many Wings and Wongs they'd still wing the wong number.

Why is there no phone books in China?

Because theres so many wings and wongs you wing the wong number.