Decline Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

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What did the surgeon say when the doctor declined going out after work?

Suture self!

Why did Steve Jobs decline chemotherapy?

Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Why was the ginger declined when he tried to sell his soul to the devil?

Insufficient funds.

Why does Kylo Ren decline all my raid invites in WoW?

Cause he been solo.

Why did the biker decline an invitation to the rally?

He was just two tired.

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Police Jokes More Police Jokes

Why couldn't the police solve the case of the flat car battery?

They had no leads.

What do police and my laundry detergent not have in common?

One protects all colors.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happened when the joke about terrorists got to the front page?

It blew up

What happens when the Pope dies?

Another one popes up.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What do you call a corn farmer who wakes up one morning to find that complex branching pathways have been cut into his field?

Amaized.

How do you stop a fish from smelling?

Cut its nose off.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Why do doctors hate Wolves?

Lupus

Why did the house go to the doctor?

It was having window panes.

Soul Jokes More Soul Jokes

Why do you never see red headed Jazz musicians?

They have no soul...

How can you tell if a duck has soul?

If it's bill withers!

Raid Jokes More Raid Jokes

How do you start a raid in Ethiopia?

Staple food to the ceiling!

What did the Pink Panther say after he sprayed raid on an anthill?

Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant.*

Clau Jokes More Clau Jokes

What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as they were looking out their front window?

Looks like rein dear

What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa?

A rebel without a Claus.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why did the number of parking tickets spike after Persephone was carried off to the underworld?

Because Demeter stopped working.

How do I get to 280?

A man steps out of line and replies "I guess diet and exercise didn't work!"