Decline Jokes

What happened when Santa cut his beard?

The police came and took statements but ultimately Mrs. Claus declined to press charges. OC

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What did the surgeon say when the doctor declined going out after work?

Suture self!

Why did Steve Jobs decline chemotherapy?

Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Why was the ginger declined when he tried to sell his soul to the devil?

Insufficient funds.

Why does Kylo Ren decline all my raid invites in WoW?

Cause he been solo.

Why did the biker decline an invitation to the rally?

He was just two tired.

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Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

What's the difference between a doctor and God?

God doesn't walk around thinking he's a doctor.

Why did X-Men's Cyclops go to the doctors?

Because he needed laser eye surgery!

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

How many Apple users does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. Once the bulb goes out, they replace the house.

How do you milk sheeps?

With Apple accessories.

Surgeon Jokes More Surgeon Jokes

What's this bit here?

NURSE: ...his heart ME: Hm. NURSE: Your resume said you were a surgeon ME: My resume says a lot of things

Why did the woman fall in love with the surgeon?

Because he cauterize.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

How many Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?

None, the changes necessary will come from within.

Which company saw the end of disco coming from a mile away?

Discover.

Invite Jokes More Invite Jokes

When the animal kingdom had a poker party who didn't they invite?

The Cheetahs!

What did the two story house say to its friend after it had just finished working out, and it's friend invited I to a party?

I'm two tiered. I came up with this at 1am, enjoy.

Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

Whats the odd one out?

The man on the moon? Santa Claus? Or an honest Lawyer? Yes you got it Santa. The other two are figments of the imagination.

What band does Santa listen to while delivering presents?

Slayer.

Devil Jokes More Devil Jokes

How do you hit those high notes?

Adam Levine: I sold my soul to the devil. Interviewer: Excuse me Adam Levine: Practice.

Who's there! Becker! Becker who?

Becker the devil you know!

Suture Self Jokes More Suture Self Jokes

What did the doctor say to the patient who wanted to do his own surgery?

Suture self!

What did the surgeon say when the doctor declined going out after work?

Suture self!