What did the doctor say to the patient who wanted to do his own surgery?

Suture self!

Why was the orphan so successful?

When he was told to "go big or go home," he only had one option. (I've posted this joke here before, but I believe I've been the first, so if you recognize it as a repost it's because I wanted to tell it again!)

What did the bed say to the sleepy man?

I want you inside me

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

Why do computer teachers never get sick?

Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

What do you call a vet that can only work on one animal?

A doctor

Patient Jokes More Patient Jokes

Why was the Doctor screaming angrily at his secretary?

He ran out of patients.

What do you call a man that marries another man?

A minister! Courtesy of a patient.

Suture Self Jokes More Suture Self Jokes

What did the doctor say to the patient who wanted to do his own surgery?

Suture self!

What did the lazy surgeon say to his patient?

Suture self!

Surgery Jokes More Surgery Jokes

What did the doctor say to the patient who wanted to do his own surgery?

Suture self!

How was the surgery?

Surgery? But... was this not an autopsy???!!!