How about something personal?

Me: Personally I need a job.

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What is the difference between the avian flu and the swine flu?

One requires a tweetment and the other need an oinkment.

What did the thirsty Spanish pirate say?

I need some arrrrrrrrrrrgua!

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

Why did the bacteriologist quit her job?

She hated being microbe-managed.

Why did Rick Astley get fired from his job at the video store?

Because he refused to rent someone a copy of the Pixar flick "Up".