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Why is the O in Opossum silent?

Because it's playing dead.

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Why didn't the panda use a glove when playing baseball?

Because he caught everything bear handed!

What do you call Kurt Russel playing an archaeologist?

Kurt Fossil

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What do you call a nutritionist who sidelines as an automotive journalist?

A carb-o-rater

What did "O" said to "Q"?

Dude, your is hanging out

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Why did the chicken cross the road in Missouri?

To show the opossum it could be done.

Why did the opossum cross the road?

To get to the middle.