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O Jokes

What do you call a person who drinks way too much soda?

A Coke-o-nut.

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What are a musician's favourite letters?

P and O.

Why did you leave me here all alone?

Where o where are you tonight? Why did you leave me here all alone? I searched the world over and thought I found some one You met a zombie and pblblthpth you were gone.

How can you tell when Halloween is coming too soon?

The sight of premature Ejack-o-lanterns in the neighborhood. I'm a Dad so this joke is OK

Why is Jay-Z allowed to ride in the carpool lane by himself?

Because his name is Hov, OH, H-to-the-O-V

What did "O" said to "Q"?

Dude, your is hanging out

What do you call 2 doctors walking together?

Pair-o-Medics

Why are jack-o-lanterns inbred?

Because they pump-kin

How many vowels are in the word 'vowel'?

Four. O, double-u and e.

What does a guy who can predict the lottery numbers 99% of the time have in common with the letters C, D, G, H, J, K, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z?

They're not infallible

What is the formula for water?

Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O. Teacher: That's not what I taught you. Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O.

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What's that over there, is it a gho-o-o-ost?

Ooooooooo S: OK! OK!

Why is the O in Opossum silent?

Because it's playing dead.

What did the O say to the 8?

Nice belt.

What is the similarity between Caps Lock and prison?

They both turn "o" into "O".

What did the snake day to Adam after he bit the apple?

You owe Eve an O.

What's the difference between O and Q?

One had to P.

Why are those two men standing in the spine of that book?

It must need Osteo-per-o-sis" Love it.

What do you call a nutritionist who sidelines as an automotive journalist?

A carb-o-rater

What is the chemical formula for water?

Student: "HIJKLMNO." Teacher: "What are you talking about " Student: "Yesterday you said it's H to O!"

What has two O's and fires?

A double-vowel shotgun.

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What is the formula for water?

George: HIJKLMNO Teacher: Is that the formula I gave you George: Sure you said H to O!

How does a stereotypical blonde spell Farm?

E-I-E-I-O.

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Ottoman Empire Jokes More Ottoman Empire Jokes

What's the difference between the inverse of sec(o) and the smallest region in the former Ottoman Empire?

One is cos(o), the other is Kosovo

Where do Turkish people go to purchase their furniture?

The Ottoman Empire.

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

What do you call a bear in the rain?

A drizzly bear.

Why did the kangaroo love the little Australian bear?

Because the bear had many fine koala-ties!

Canada Jokes More Canada Jokes

How do you know if a flock of geese is from Canada?

They fly in an 'A' (eh)

Why was the Newfie excited when he heard Quebec might leave Canada?

It wouldn't take him as long to drive to Toronto

Similarity Jokes More Similarity Jokes

What is the similarity between tornadoes and divorces in Kentucky?

Either way, someone is losing a trailer.

What is the similarity between women and square roots?

If they are under 16 you should just do them in your head.

U. S. Jokes More U. S. Jokes

Who is the least guilty U.S. President?

Lincoln. He's in a cent!

What's the difference between a Russian Potato and a U.S. Potato?

The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.

Student Jokes More Student Jokes

How many retweets to let me take your sister to prom?

A student walks up to his friend a week before prom and asks, "Hey, how many Twitter retweets do i have to get to take your sister to prom?" His friend says, "Dude, she was abducted! She's been missing 3 weeks, you know this!" The student says, "So you're saying if i find her, i can take her?"

Why do we have a Thanksgiving holiday?

Student: "So we know when to start Christmas shopping!"

Hi Jokes More Hi Jokes

What did the blind guy say when he walked past Red Lobster?

Hi, Ladies!

What's the most awkward U.S state?

O....Hi!.....o.....

Water Jokes More Water Jokes

What turns you on the most?

Water. It makes me wet instantly.

Why do honest ducks dip their heads under the water?

To liquidate their bills.